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Even in a mask, Kirsten Johnson glows like a lighthouse.
She walks like one, too: tall and broad-shouldered, her attention sweeping around like a searchlight.
I think of images as relationships, right?
the director says as we wander through Washington Square Park.
For 30 years, she has been making films, and that mode doesnt just switch off.
Theres a thing of the physical proximity you need so you can film something.
But the image betrays it is not an intimate relationship.
The image will be true if I am sitting next to him.
In all those documentaries, Johnsons signature has been her warmth.
Poitras thinks the key is Johnsons radical sense of presence.
The idea was Im going to kill him over and over, she says.
He was delighted: On film, at least, he can resurrect.
The directors children contributed ideas too.
Four-year-olds talking about the ways theyre going to kill Grandpa made for some hilarious dinner conversations, Johnson says.
In the process, Im teaching my kids that his death is coming.
We are about to lose him.
We are losing him.
Johnsons responseto difficulty has always been to go hard, fast.
Would she think about teaming up?
I was terrified, Johnson says.
Her twins are now 8 years old.
It was outside of my system of possible constructs.
I have conceived of myself as a straight person my entire life!
Another quick pivot: She and Jackson married in January on the first day of Sundance.
In pre-pandemic times, Johnson lived next door to Sachs and Torres in a one-bedroom apartment on Fifth Avenue.
In the pandemic, those careful compartmentalizations have collapsed.
Dick is in a dementia facility now, and the choice to take him there remains painful.
In the park, Johnson FaceTimed him.
Hi, sweetie, he said.
He talked about watchingThe Price Is Rightwith the other residents.
Im glad youre not calling them inmates anymore, Johnson said, laughing.
When we talked about the film, he beamed with pride at his daughter.
Before the shutdown, Dick was well enough to travel to Sundance.
The film is now like a time machine.
The result is a littleHarold and Maude,a littleStill Alice,and a little terrifying.
Humor is really tricky, says Johnson.
Its a little mean.
In talking about it, I realize there are moments in the film that Johnson and I see differently.
The project, now out of money, went into crisis.
What does looking really do?
The film is ravishing and loving but self-laceratingly moral.
All the thorny questionsCamerapersonraises show up again inDick Johnson Is Dead.The films work in conversation.
A few weeks ago,Johnson dreamed she was in a house and discovered an extra room.
But this time, doorways kept opening into different spaces.
Open one door, and its the ocean.
kick off the next, a desert.
In each room, she kept finding her father.
In one of them, he was in a room that seemed bare and empty.
Dad, she remembers asking him, what are you doing in this room?
Youre missing all your things.
Johnsons dreams are detailed and complete and in Technicolor.
Much of the wild maximalism inDick Johnsonis deliberately dreamlike.
But even that was proving beyond Dicks waning capacities.
I didnt know what would happen if he walked onto it by himself, she remembers.
I actually dont know if its safe to do.
Would he tip over and hurt himself?
Thats the stage he was at.
I just lost it.
I was weeping in front of the entire crew.
The detachment without abandonment project has only been partially successful.
Sometimes, Johnson falters.
As much asDick Johnsonis about her father, its autobiographical.
It seesaws along with her own mind.
The idea of my fathers dying is terrifying, heartbreaking, she says.
But the idea of it is a relief.
I wish him to die; I dont wish him to die.
Am I exploiting him with this film?
Am I giving him immortality?
What Im trying to do is accompany my father to the edge of this cliff, right?
At some unexpected moment, hes going to drop off the cliff and then hes gone.
But hes only fallen five feet down.
Hes hanging by a branch.
At the facility, she recalls him begging her to take him back.
And Im saying, I cant come get you.
Youve got to stay there.
Its like,Are you kidding?No human should have to do this.
And yet this is what humans have to do, right?
At a certain point, you have to stay at the top of the cliff.
