Vanderpump Rules
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This season, though, every episode feels like a charcuterie plate.
Well, there is one event that everything seems to have been centering on: Brax and Jitneys wedding.
I cant even talk about this wedding anymore and yet here we are, forced to do so.
1 and Sandoval is merely Best Man No.
All of the other story lines, though, are weird and diffuse.
Just look at thedrive-by fruitingof Katie and Kristens continued fight about Carter.
Katie is still upset that Kristen is pretending like theyre broken up but theyre not.
Are they broken up or not?
Then theres the stuff with all of the new kids.
Charli says that Brett only talked about himself and his ex-girlfriend.
There is also a little tiff when Charli, Brett, and Scheana are all working at SUR.
(Brett says to them, Wow, you guys are wearing the same outfit.
Um, theyre in their SUR uniforms.
Thats kind of the whole point, Nancy Drew.)
Charli is pissed at Scheana for supposedly telling Brett not to date her and that she is untrustworthy.
I dont use that word.
It doesnt sound like me, Scheana says, admitting that nothing past three syllables ever passes her lips.
But I dont trust any of these new people.
Charli also brings up that its weird he only talked about his ex-girlfriend.
When Brett raises his voice, Charli says, Dont yell at me.
Brett responds, Now Im being scolded for being honest.
This is why I cant be friends with girls, because you take shit to the next level.
Oh, shut right the fuck up,racist.
Why are so many girls crushing on a(n admittedly hot) guy like this?
Every year the two, born on the same day, had competing parties.
I dont feel like mingling with any of these people, he says.
This semi-open hostility for the new castmates is actually a fascinating development.
Are we seeing our favorite reality stars refusing to bend to the whims of the producers?
I will refrain from mocking Raquel because no one deserves to be treated like James Kennedy treats her.
Just a normal day for any woman with an opinion on Twitter, AMIRITE?
When Ariana scrolls through the texts, there are dozens and dozens of them.
But she wasnt out getting drunk while they were filming.
He wasnt faking these texts for the camera.
This seems to be something that happened organically, and that makes it all the more troubling.
Are you asking me to quit drinking?
Yes, she says.
Then Im leaving, James says, heading for the front door.
He leaves for an indeterminate amount of time.
You know, the first gay porn I ever saw was calledMan Oh Man, Sandoval said.
It was about two groomsman getting it on the night before the wedding.
Schwartz said, between bites of his cookie.
And then the groomsman starts to unbutton the guys shirt.
Sandoval started to unbutton his shirt.
And then he unbuttons his own shirt.
And then he leans down to kiss the guy.
Sandoval then pushed against Schwartzs chair, rearing it up on its hind legs as they kissed.
He brushed their shirt tails away so that their chests could touch in this precarious embrace.
I like this story, Schwartz said.
Why dont you take my pants off and find out, Sandoval said.
