Vanderpump Rules
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Their wedding is so old now.
Most of this episode is devoted to even more wedding-adjacent parties.
After the rehearsal dinner, there is a murder-mystery party at the castle where they are getting married.
Then there is a rooftop party after that.
And were not done!
Do you know what you call that?
Then, finally, it is the night before the wedding.
But everyone is not going to bed and resting up for the big day.
Brittanys onesie is a mermaid.
Mermaids do not live in a castle, they live in the sea.
The boys all go to Jaxs room to get him shit-faced the night before his wedding.
Does anyone think that?
I mean, really?
I mean, is anyone expecting these two to last?
I will never understand how capitalism works.
Katie is still sticking with Tom; however, she is totally done with Kristen.
In fact, both she and Stassi are ready to dump Kristen as a friend.
They, of course, tell her that they are talking about her.
Once again the topic of conversation is Carter.
But is Carter really that close with Jaxney?
Jax disinvited him to the bachelor party when he found out they were broken up.
Does he really want him at the wedding?
This is a fight about who Kristen is.
I dont think so, but that is an entirely different argument.
Can we just talk about how awesome Beau is?
When theyre at the party at the opposite of a speakeasy (a yellhard?
And there is Beau, joining in the fun for no apparent reason.
Hes not showing off.
He doesnt even know that people can see him.
Back in West Hollywood we have to deal with Max and Dayna.
Oh, how convenient.
She doesnt even have one!
How dare she have a Tom Tom Pride T-shirt?
She then decides that, Everyone was right.
Max is a fuckboy.
I mean, duh.
Have you even looked at his face?
Thats a lot for a head to say, but that is exactly what Maxs head is giving off.
If there is one thing we learned from the Me Too movement, it is to believe women.
You too, Dayna.
Believe women, unless it was a woman who advised you to wear that jewelry in your confessional interviews.
This would have been amazing if it werent as staged as a Riverdanceregional tour.
Since you and Katie arent really married I thought this was my only chance, Sandoval said.
He put his right hand between him and Schwartz and opened it palm up.
Will you marry me?
Schwartz giggled and pushed his hair out of his face.
I thought youd never ask.
He leaned in and they kissed surrounded by Jaxs tuxedo and mostly empty hangers.
But I think that ring might be a little big for my fingers.
Oh, it doesnt go there, Sandoval said.
He then shoved his hand into Schwartzs sweatpants and underwear all in one swipe.
