Vanderpump Rules
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So, so hard.
About as hard as liking Lala this season.
I dont think that Lala has changed necessarily, but the context around her has shifted.
That sympathy, at least from me, is gone.
Just as the Witches hazed her, shes now doing the same exact thing to Charli.
Im not sure how the fight that erupted during the casts trip to Palm Springs even started.
What exactly are Charlis food issues?
What exactly was her punishment for not eating certain things?
What were the kind of foods she was supposed to be eating?
She is not wrong about this point.
I am now totally lost in this logical progression.
Its like trying to pick a lock with a wet pasta noodle.
(Did I do this right?)
But Charli does have skin in the game.
Charli is not Lalas child.
She is not her underling.
She is not someone who works for her.
(Sorry, I think the Coachella theme got to me.)
If you state an opinion I dont like, Im going to come out of pocket at you.
First of all, what is she?
Everyone hates this name.
Even Brock, a budgie smuggler in a satin suit, knows that this is a bad name.
Lisa nearly passes out of embarrassment when they tell her the name.
Sandoval is very upset that everyone thinks the name is uninspired.
Our last names are uninspired?
Naming a bar after yourselves is less inspired than a frat brother without Adderall during reading days.
They are literally names given to you that you had no choice in.
You gave zero thought in naming the bar after yourselves.
My problem with this whole fight is how mewling and non-confrontational Schwartz is.
Just have the guts to tell Sandy his name sucks.
He then asks Schwartz what the concept of the bar is, and Schwartz says, Its complicated.
Dude, its not the Fibonacci sequence, assembling an Ikea shelf, or the debt ceiling.
We serve drinks, and here is kind of what it looks like.
If you cant explain your bar in 10 words or less, its doomed to failure.
And Katie is like, No, hes gotta learn.
It just makes him look so much older.
At least when Jax was around, there was someone else his age to balance him out.
Now its like hes a single adult man having tea at the American Girl Doll Store.
Its sort of like what Sandoval was saying about Brocks thighs.
Theyre so big that no matter how big his junk is, its going to look small.
In fact, I love to think about Schwartz any time he is thinking about someone elses endowment.
He runs into change and peels the soggy cotton off his freezing skin.
Well, youre definitely a grower, he says.
he yells, pointing at his penis, a bit shriveled like a snail sutured to a windowpane.
Lets warm you up then.
Sandoval strips his sheer top over his head, careful not to smear his makeup.
Sandoval pulls away for a moment and looks down at the widening gap between them.
He loves what he sees.
Are your thighs getting smaller?
No, Schwartz says, leaning in for just the glancing of a kiss.
Its definitely getting bigger.
