Vanderpump Rules
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I am happy to report, ladies and gentle gays, that our long national nightmare is over.
But Jax and Brittanys Never-Ending Wedding Extravaganza 2020 is officially finished.
That doesnt mean Brittany still isnt trying to milk it for all its worth.
She made Jax carry her over the threshold of the house shes already been living in for a year.
I have to admit, I am really over Jax this year.
Yes,hes always been awful.
Yes, hes always been a scumbag, but there was something charming about his egocentric innocence.
And whats up with all of his belly-aching about Tom Sandoval having a themed birthday party?
hey, someone give the editors of this show the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
Yes, Schwartz decided to have a memorial pool party for Daug at a hotel pool.
Whats so odd about the travails of the new kids is how much happens off camera.
This event, like Danica attacking her threeway-loving boyfriend, happened without a camera anywhere?
Max first brings up this idea to Schwartz when he returns to Tom Tom after the wedding.
Schwartz asks Max what happened while he was away.
Well, I broke up with Dayna and Im mad at Danica, Max says.
No, dude, Schwartz should have said.
I mean with my actual business that youre supposed to be running.
Did anything happen with that?
That is not doing nothing.
That is being a sleazeball.
Im 86-ed from my sister restaurant.
Myownsister restaurant, she says, as if sister restaurants are a protected class of workplace.
From there this fight fizzles, like a vodka soda left on the edge of a hot tub overnight.
Theres another fight that I dont care about this episode, which also starts at Daugs funeral.
Apparently, there is some conflict regarding the Witches of WeHo wine company that the three of them started.
Scheana relays this news to Kristen off camera (why is so much happening off camera?)
and the three of them have a fight at Toms Extra Extra birthday party.
I feel like theres something were missing about this fight.
But it also feels like Katie and Stassi are mad about something theyre not saying.
I get that friends grow apart.
I get that besties need space.
But if they once loved Kristen, where has all their empathy and compassion gone?
I dont think we entirely know whats up with this one.
It is a meeting of a mind.
Its one thing to insult my character, but to put down my intelligence …, she says.
She is obviously not smart enough to appreciate a backhanded compliment.
I mean, okay, I guess.
Secondly, this is all a little bit crazy.
Not only that, shes saying that theyre true when James and Logan previously squashed them.
These dont seem like the actions of a person who is trying to mend a broken relationship.
It is the extra-est.
He yelled, Schwartz, what are …
Shut the fuck up, Schwartz yelled back.
But this was the dream.
This was the fantasy.
