Vanderpump Rules
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You just freaked out in a Colorado hotelroom like Maureen Dowd, holding onto the bedspread for dear life?
Okay, thats cool too, I guess.
This is the only correct assessment of this activity.
Like, this is not actually real?
The best photo, of course, is when Katie puts her feet in a bowl of half-eaten spaghetti.
Really this episode is packed, though.
How does he pick his left nostril if he has no left index finger?
Is it full of decades worth of crusty boogers?
What does that teach us, people?
Dont go on reality television because theyre going to exploit all of your old scars for content.
Pull that phrase out of my aural canal like anear candleron the side of the road in India.
Lisa has no idea why that would be, and Lala says, With my mouth.
Lisa is still unclear.
Poor Randalls hairy ass-crack.
Poor all of us.
I dont know if this could be a spin-off, but it could at least be a special.
She invites along her friend Paige, a Lana Del Rey B-side played on repeat.
Charli is mad that Scheana didnt support her more.
I agree with Scheana.
I think Scheana could have said, Are you alright?
after she freaked out or checked in on her and told her that the guy was a jerk.
Charli clearly went through something; the nice thing to do would be to check on your friend.
This has really been the argument with Scheana since she first fucked-Brandi-Glanvilles-husband-ed her way onto the show.
Scheana texted Charli to say that she was being disloyal by giving her too many compliments on Instagram.
I am done adjudicating this fight because it is stupid.
Shes friends with Charli; shes hated by Scheana.
Give this girl a contract.
Let her tear Arianas liver out with her beak and then shit it out on Schwartzs front yard.
Then Charli mentions someone named Jackson who was saying bad things about her that Scheana is friends with.
Heres a contract, Jackson.
This isnt difficult, people.
(It is also notDifficult People, which I miss every day.)
Now youre at a third-tier movie producers house, overly trilling the rockets red glare.
Randall wins, gets a huge trophy, and the rest of us look at Brocks rainbow shirt.
That shirt is so gay.How!
God, I hate when Katie is reasonable and mature.
I hate when shes the voice of reason.
Lets get her back to hating everyone with a better haircut than her.
After his pickleball defeat, Sandoval was comforting Schwartz the only way he knew how.
He had his chest pushed up against the bathroom wall while he took him from behind.
Huh, Sandoval grunted.
I never thought I was going to come between two women, but here we are.
