The White Lotus
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Here is a television series that fulfills its promises.
That fact in itself was perhaps the most salient clue we had as to who might die.
Of course the coffin belongs to the hotel manager.
How else could the story of three vacations ever double as the story of one persons wasteful death?
RIP, Armond, who died as he lived: in service to another mans narrative.
Against Cristobal Tapia de Veers anxious score, this weeks credits read like the seriess potential hit list.
Surely, Sydney Sweeneys Olivia is still on the first of her many lives.
Jennifer Coolidges alcoholic Tanya is fragile enough to die, but then again, shes made it this far.
If they could only dismiss him compassionately, maybe Quinn wouldnt think his only escape is aboard ahokuleato Polynesia.
The Mossbachers implicitly understand that they need Quinn in the house as a distraction from their fractious marriage.
By morning, Shanes touch is enough to induce a panic attack.
Today, Shane makes her skin crawl.
He settles for Chekhovs pineapple knife and engaging the bolt lock.
She just doesnt want to be arm candy.
Relax, Pattons, youre both babies.
Tanya and Greg have progressed from booty calls to daylight.
Its the least depressing story line, so why does it make me feel so gross?
Gregs coughing while Tanya teases renting a house in Aspen just to be near him.
Thats a lot of sugar, she says when he offers to fetch her a pina colada.
Its hard to watch Tanya interact with the world; shes the bullandthe china shop.
Watching Livs suspicions crystallize into knowledge is painful.
At sea to flex Marks and Quinns new PADI licenses, Paula vomits off the side of the boat.
It could be seasickness, or it could be the somatic manifestation of overwhelming guilt.
This is what you see when you close your eyes.
Back onshore, Liv confronts Paula.
Youve stolen, too, Paula snaps at one point.
Is that whats underpinning this righteous crusade payback for some guy they fought over?
Paulas right that Olivia isnt very different from her parents, but Paulas not so different either.
Tellingly, Kais arrest happens offscreen.
Wherever she started, Paula now belongs to the tribe that rarely faces its own flotsam.
Which brings us to the big breakup.
(Id be curious to see whos paying for Gregs flight to Honolulu, too.)
Hes smiling, hes pouring wine, hes showing the good people to their corner tables.
Its damn near ballet.
Lonely Rachel Patton shows up for dinner, which is unreal.
Ten seconds is the extent of his patience.
Honeymoons are generally not so soul-searching.
Its momentarily satisfying to hear Belinda say shes all out of advice, but its a hollow graduation.
Compared with Tanya or Shane or Shanes mom, Rachel is too easy to swat away.
Maybe they can take more trips or buy a boat?
Paula looks on with disbelief thats starting to curdle for me.
Is she really surprised that theyve moved on?
Later, the girls spoon on the pullout, and Paula cries.
Id almost forgotten someone had to die when Greg started hacking into his after-dinner drink.
Dillon and now Hutch and I think I saw another body in there?
have joined the scorched-earth office party.
Maybe one of these kids will die?
On this show, what happens after dinner usually arrives in soporific glimpses.
We should all be safely asleep by now!
(Thank the alcohol and the Adderall for being able to poo on command.)
Although Armond is but steps from the bathroom, he does not wipe.
He locates the source of the bad smell before hearing Armonds attempted escape.
When Armond walks into Shanes knife, its an accident, and its inevitable.
Theres only so much chaos one story line can hold.
Quinn cries as he squints out at the water he has fallen completely in love with.
Nicole is counting her bangles.
I repeat, Nicole is counting her bangles.
Back at the resort, Belinda prepares to welcome this weeks guests.
Every day isGroundhog Dayat the White Lotus.
Every guest is the same guest.
Except, perhaps, Quinn, who runs away when his parents backs are turned.
Whether it buys him a life of independence or just one more day at sea, I clapped.
The series did not end on a whimper; in fact,it hasnt ended at all.
That freedom you want for Quinn?
Its what you want for yourself, too.
