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Let me say that again: two (2) minutes.
By this logic, I am now aHannibalwatcher, even though I have never sat through an episode ofHannibal.
(And, yes, I know.
I should watchHannibal.)
But, hey, at least Netflix is reportingsomething.
How many hours was that?
What was the previous opening weekend record?
By Apple and Hulus standards, Netflix seems downright transparent.
(By the way, all three of these aforementioned movies are good.
Im glad people are watching them.
But the truth is that our definition of a hit movie is rapidly changing.
But this trend had started well before COVID-19 hit.
We never really knew if they were hits; we just sort of had a sense that they were.
This is good, I think?)
Obviously, the views themselves arent necessarily indicative of these streaming companies bottom lines.
Still, the way a company measures success tells us a lot about how it understands its core business.
In Hollywood, data has always involved a certain amount of numerical witchcraft and sophistry.
Some of its about creating the illusion of success, or at least the avoidance of public failure.
Some of this is understandable: Our society loves hits.
We seek out hits.
We dream of writing or recording or starring in hits.
So what happens when there are no more hits?
Or at least, no reliable way to tell whats a hit and whats not?
Because thats sort of where the movies find themselves right now.
Its all so weirdly soulless and corporate.
It doesnt say, We made something you might enjoy.
It says, We suckered you into clicking a button.
Its the brazen language of a huckster.
Weve got our money and were getting the hell out of Dodge.
The people who not only chose to watch it, but also chose to finish it.
There are probably good reasons why Netflix doesnt make those numbers public.
That right there tells us that the two (2) minute stat is largely worthless.
In a theater, its hard to abandon a movie youre watching, even if you hate it.
Plus, there are all those people in the row you have to stumble your way through.
The completers, in other words, arent fairy-tale numbers designed to burnish stats.
That would actually make it a far more accurate gauge of audience appeal than traditional box-office stats.
