The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip
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Up this time isRHOSLCrecapper Olivia Crandall.
But also, right show?From the jump, its clear thatRHUGTis built different.
The neon fonts that were surely born in the state of Florida?
The VCR time stamps?
B-roll footage that was stolen fromOuter Banksthen put through the Valencia Instagram filter on a 2013 Blackberry?
A theme song???
Everything is a damn mess.
But it doesnt matter these women are all-stars for a reason.
To me, its moments like these that make this show so damn compelling.
You cut past the table-flipping and drink-throwing and federal crimes and long-standing feuds, and were back to basics.
Or, I guess, the $4.99 yall ponied up for a month of Peacock Premium.
After getting all their areolas in place, the gals head to the marina for Luanns catamaran day.
Ramona also says she only knows Kenya from Google because she likes to research.
It will be considerably less thrilling to watch them slowly realize its a fruitless venture.
Ramona eventually half-apologizes and blames it on her ADD.
Teresa says she has ADD too, but she still tries to do the right thing.
Cynthia explains the rules of the game to all the gals except Kenya, whos still in glam.
We passed weird a solid 11 years ago this is where you draw the line?
If you cannot hang with the adults, Im sorry, but youre not the queen bee.
I dont make the rules.
They ultimately decide to play.
Ramona pays homage to Teresas bouncing shimmering butt.
Teresa chooses Lu/Cynthia/Ramona for fuck/marry/kill.
Then we commence a circlejerk of everyones biggest insecurities.
If my SSRI allowed for tear flow, this would have gotten me.
Melissa uses this opportunity to go deep on her relationship and daddy issues (her words, not mine!
), and Cynthia educates everyone on how sometimes insecurity manifests itself as overcompensation.
I give the most unparalleled levels of self-awareness and EQ award to everyone except Ramona.
Its a six-episode feuding arc packed into no more than 12 seconds of conversation!
The highest of art.
Im gonnagive it a whirlmyself and report back.
See yall Sunday to dive back into the post-Shahrrest fallout!
