The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
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Bravo knows exactly what its doing.
Theyre all like, Oh, you wanna see cRiMe$?!
And every single time, they give us nothing.
Its the definition of nothing.
Or maybe Trattoria is simply the only Italian restaurant in town that still puts up with the riffraff.
Valter was like, Honey, I dont care about the free press.
This is the hill I choose to die on.
What does it trigger, you ask?
)FATHER BECAUSE IT WAS GODS WILL.
Instead of clarifying the situation, Jen scream-cries at Lisa about how it was all a setup.
Quick earnest aside that Whitney hasnt spoken to her dad in six months.
She asked him to leave and hasnt seen or talked to him since.
They gab about Heathers dating life (give us more of this!
), plans to go on a group trip to Vail (finally!!
), and Lisa being a manipulator (ugh, whatever).
Upon realizing the cause being gala-d, Jen loses her shit.
I am putting the shit-losing in question here verbatim because its a wild ride.
Jen: Are you fucking kidding me?
This is for foster care?
My aunt adopted two kids from foster care?
She knows all of this.
I am so tired of trusting people and being screwed over.
Back at the pomade-foster-barn event, honestly, who cares?
Our new pal Cameron Williams is about to unload some Cosby family details.
Stick around, and youll find out.
The way he chooses his words?
The way the entire conversation is more or less a lift fromthat one sceneinPirates of the Caribbean?
The way Merediths face shows emotion for the first time in two years?
I MAY NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.
Someone, like find that guy who madeThe JinxHBO documentary and get him on Marys tail posthaste.
That someone is absolutely not me, and that produce code is absolutely not 4011.
Will she get a snowflake next season?
How much titty is she gonna give in her confessional?
And oooh, baby, will she bring receipts to the reunion thatll put Moniques binder to shame?
See yall next week to find out.
