The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
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Whew, this episode was an hour and five minutes (sans commercials) of revelation.

Sure, we get to see more Jen-on-the-run bus footage.
And yeah, of course, we find out Justin Rose is a solid B- pole dancer.
But the real jaw-dropper is that Mary Cosby watches movie trailers.
She not only watched theHouse of Guccitrailer but is now using it as the cornerstone of her personality.
(Grand)FATHER, SON, and HOUSE.
As long as Duy doesnt show his face or open his mouth, its a victory in my book.
I remain fascinated with the way Bravo is handling Heathers arc this season.
They go around the table explaining their journeys in losing their testimony.
Its so maniacal Im genuinely inspired.
Mary proceeds to have a complete meltdown when Whitney doesnt show up in a Party City x Bada Bing!
She then tells the ladies to rise and shine for the light has come.
Marys mad Whitney didnt answer her FaceTime.
Marys mad Whitney didnt submit a new name for herself because Whitney doesnt translate cleanly to Italian.
Jens mad she wasnt invited to Lisas beard oilfoster care event.
Jens also mad at Whitney for gifting her ex-designer some hyaluronic acid serum.
Whitney explains that the designer only known as bleeeeeep purchased the product with his own Shah-earned dollars.
Oh, absolutely not!
Mary and Whitney yell at each other about beautiful moments?
Who is more sensitive?
Who is a child and who is a very smart woman?
The traffic laws around answering a FaceTime call?
I love you, then running away.
Meredith chases after her and they debrief about Mary.
Plus, a bonus rehashing of tons of wildly cruel texts about Whitneys face.
I could have written this entire recap on the last eight minutes alone.)
Exceptionally rich content, ripe for analysis.
A gift to group texts everywhere!
First, we revisit some of thatepisode onefootage.
Jen answers her phone.
Whitney turns off her mic.
I have so many questions just about this inciting event.
Who was the baby on the other end of the phone?
Why did she say she had to go to the house and then switch to the hospital?
Does Jen have a Rolodex of stories ready at a moments notice, or does she prefer to improvise?
In fact, she immediately picks up her phone to call Stu.
Perhaps the only good advice Barlows ever given.
See you next week to find out whats behind that big ol TO BE CONTINUED.