The Real Housewives of Potomac
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Watching the seven ladies of Potomac sit around Moniques kitchen counter (possibly in a basement?)
and silently eat pizza was shocking.
Im sorry, I thought this was theReal Housewives,not day four of a weeklong work retreat.
What on earth are we doing here?
The other egregious development is that Michael continues to be an actual piece of shit.
Can we just deposit him directly into a dumpster and get Ashley and baby Dean into a safe house?
Lets get to it.
Why is Wendy mad atAshley?Be mad at Monique.
Ashley can barely get out of bed; shes not engaging in maternal subterfuge.
Wendy decides to take the argument to another level and start calling Ashley broke.
She also starts screaming I have four degrees.
A degree does not equal intelligence or sense.
It just means youre slightly better with deadlines than the average person.
For some reason, Wendy calling Ashley a bitch is just TOO MUCH for these women, especially Karen.
Wendy absolutely refuses to apologize so the chef comes out and they all do shots.
Everyone heads to bed and Candiace and Wendy sit up in their bonnets and dont hold each other accountable.
Monique ends the evening by chatting with TChalla and her husband on the phone.
Even Chris is sick of that damn bird.
The next morning, they all get up for breakfast and Gizelle and Monique have a pancake cook-off.
Later, everyone is going to rank each others swimsuits but its all in good fun.
They feel like theyve lived a life and are still somewhat connected to reality.
Theres also the dramatic editing that we can always count on with Potomac.
But were not going to hang out in that chaos for too long.
Instead, were gonna catch up with Gizelle trying to tell Wendy that she should just apologize.
Wendy keeps saying that its all about her baby but… cmon, Wendy.
That wasnt just baby stuff; that feels like just how Wendy reacts to any criticism.
Gizelle also tells her that Karen called Wendy a floozy freelancer.
What are freelancers supposed to brag about?
The fact that we dont have health insurance?
But Wendy isnt just a freelance po-lit-i-cal commentator, shes also a professor at THE Johns Hopkins University.
Monique pulls out the canoes and paddleboats for the ladies to go fishing.
Wait, we have to move the other person on our team to act out the clue?
How is that fun?
Also, your family doesnt eat cheese?
What are we supposed to eat for breakfast?
Why are we here?
JUST LET ME GO TO BED!
All the other women are barely hiding their displeasure at the weekend festivities while Monique just couldnt be happier.
Shes in her own paddleboat just floating around the lake, wishing TChalla was on her shoulder.
Meanwhile, Wendy and Ashley are attempting to come to some sort of resolution.
Ashley says is that an apology?
and Wendy says thats Wendy owning her shit.
Thats Wendy saying Yes, I did it, but I dont feel bad.
Ashley leads by example and apologizes and Wendy mimics this alien behavior to fit in.
Ashley facetimes with a very hungover Michael and a producer asks if Michael likes being second to their baby.
Karen tries to get Ray to acknowledge her feelings.
One, is that the subtlest of reads on Ashley and the other moms?
Two, Candiace, its a human child.
Of course things are going to go wrong.
Do I predict well be getting a Candiace pregnancy soon?
Shes too freaked out.
Gizelle is TRYING to find something fun, and this barely qualifies as fun.
Its between twerk time and dinner time that Candiace gets this ominous text.
She doesnt know what to do because the text has a picture of Michael.
She remembers to ask the crew if theyll blur the name of her friend who sent her the text.
She runs over to the guest house to grab Gizelle.
Someone has to tell her and unfortunately, its got to be Candiace.
And I know they head to dinner and everyone talks about their husbands.
Blah blah blah Moniques Chris doesnt help her or take advantage of their household help.
Blah blah blah Juan kept the kids home from school because he couldnt dress them?!
Blah blah blah Ray is asleep somewhere in a rocking chair.
TO BE CONTINUED…
