The Real Housewives of Potomac
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Well… that was anticlimactic.
Nothing to write home about.
A rare moment of overselling, underdelivering forRHOP.
Meanwhile, Candiace is getting ready for her day and singing a little ditty about having a camel toe.
Oh, the dramatic irony!
but we all process information in different ways.
She begins pumping away in public (which is her right!
Speaking of great impressions, lets talk about Dr. Wendy in that light blue caftan moment.
I absolutely loved it.
Drive-thru Wendy twerking in her caftan and slides gave me life, degrees be damned.
The ladies leave the stunning cliffs of Madeira and get ready for dinner.
Karen FaceTimes Mr. Bad Dick (sorry, Ray) and shows off her (cute!)
(And yes, now I need a revival ofInto The Woodswith Karen Huger as The Witch).
Shes simply not doing the outfit justice.
Wow, she didnt have to go so hard.
Shes shocked to find out shes the only one.
Thats Robyn for you: a freak in the sheets, asleep in the streets.
The good times are coming to an end.
Instead of throwing a fuss, Karen simply says, Im good.
What an incredible, BDE move by La Grande Dame.
I bow down to Ariana Grande stan Karen Huger.
Karens having a launch party when they return to Potomac and invites all the girls.
Finally we get to the main event of the episode: the dominatrix party.
Ill be the first to say it, I want a dominatrix night every season.
Im honestly shocked that Bravo blurred out the black dildo.
I dont like that, Andy.
I dont like that at all.
The rest of the ladies arrive one by one.
Wendy is giving more sexy secret agent than dominatrix, but its hot nonetheless.
Karen is serving Madam of Ill Repute realness, which is totally her vibe.
Only Candiace really understands the assignment, and shows up wearing a skimpy, leather Playboy Bunny-lite outfit.
10s across the board.
Maybe theyll kiss and make up?
(Narrator voice: They do not.)
The ladies begin the evening by answering some sexy questions.
We learn a lot about the ladies sex lives during the game.
Eddies more dominant in bed with Wendy.
No ones masturbating enough.
Robyn almost came during a massage while pregnant.
You care about STRATEGERY, screams Candiace, brining hateration and holleration into their dancerie.
Miss Darby ultimately decides shes whos decided shes had enough and returns to her hotel room.
But also, did we not already know that?
Am I going crazy?
I guess this info may change things for some people but my question remains: for who?
Karen sends prayers up not in the direction of Monique or Candiace, but rather just generally above her.
Umm… didnt you press charges within 48 seconds of the incident happening?
Both Ashley Darby and Candiace FaceTime their white husbands after dominatrix night, to tell them what happened.
Each white husband validates his wifes point of view, while also stoking the flames of animosity between them.
Ill give you a hint: her name rhymes withShonique.
