The Real Housewives of Orange County
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I have seen into your future and it will be a lot longer than a month.
Emily, as always, is levelheaded and efficient.
Elizabeth handles the coronavirus just how she handles everything else, by talking about money and her divorce.
They feel like shes hiding something.
Later, we see her by herself going to Curl Fitness.
Oh, I think we know her sister, Cut?
Where do we know here from?
Did we go to middle school with Cut Fitness?
Did we used to work with her?
Apparently I follow her on Instagram, but shes on mute for some reason.
Shes upset that these women are skeptical of her and her divorce.
Because that is entirely the exercise you signed yourself up for.
Those who are best at it are completely open about themselves and let the audience share in that.
Elizabeth, hiding behind a court order, is not doing that.
Shannons boyfriends daughter, a.k.a.
her assistant, is at Costco and cant get any of the things Shannon wants, particularly meat.
Shannon is literally crying because she might run out of paper towels.
She picks up a vitamin-size bottle and says, I dont know what this is.Agaricus.
We have to take that too.
Why do you have to take it?
Why do you need these things?
Just be normal and cautious.
Wash your hands.Take a Xanax.
Zika isnt great, but its really only a problem if she plans on conceiving again.
That is what Shannons form of hypochondria really is.
(If you havent noticed, I put on my Real Housewives Psychological Examination monocle.)
If everyone has to be focused on Shannons needs, then they are focused on Shannon.
But her worst tendency is to deny this tactic even as she does it.
Meanwhile, Gina is at the Italian market buying a whole bag of sausages.
I am much more in the Gina camp of preparing for the apocalypse.
As bad as I knew things were going to get, I knew they couldnt close supermarkets.
If were going to be stuck, we might as well be stuck with the foods we love.
Last up is Braunwyn and, whoa, nelly.
I feel like right now Braunwyn couldnt even find her asshole if she had two hands and a flashlight.
I mean, is this a therapy session or an audition for a remake ofThe Bell Jar?
Rowan is worried about everything, naturally, and Braunwyns solution is to take her to an AA meeting.
She says that morning she went and it was full of such nice, lovely grandmas and grandpas.
First of all, AA isnt just for everyone.
It is for alcoholics.
Second, dont bring your nasty germs around the grandmas and grandpas.
Keep them at home.
Let them live to share their wisdom long into the second President Kamala Harris administration.
She just wants to be able to speak.
Then she talks about crawling out of her skin, about having nowhere to go, about feeling trapped.
Then I logged onto Twitter to seethat she has come out.
No, not even bisexual, because we all kind of knew that.
She says shes a lesbian and she hasneverbeen attracted to men.
Is that what Seans necklaces were to ward off?
This season is shaping up to be crazy when it comes back from lockdown.
Also, good for her finally living her truth.
This also makes her the first full-time openly lesbian Housewife, so theres that too.
Im not scared of the sickness, she tells her parents.
Im scared of the older people I know dying.
Im afraid of running out of food.
I dont think were going to have a prom, and I was really looking forward to that stuff.
Okay, great.)
