The Real Housewives of Orange County
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I thought they could pull it off, though.
But thats not it at all.
Its just the women in pairs sitting in each others kitchens talking about phone calls that happened off camera.
Elizabeth is telling Emily that she FaceTimed Braunwyn to talk about cult life and Braunwyn looked bored.
Kelly is telling Shannon that Emily told her that Braunwyn is about to get divorced.
Shannon is telling Kelly that she and Gina have been having teary late night conversations.
Everything about her is contrived, she says.
Neither of these things are happening and its making the show weaker.
When they cant hang out in a group, it shatters the whole concept.
What were left with is a diffuse dynamic where theyre all just talking about talking to each other.
They seem to be about being on the show.
However, isnt that true of everything?
Luckily we had some more of the women on their own behaving absolutely insane.
Her brother, who certainly wasnt as rich, has done the work.
At least shes finally going to a therapist, but its an on-TV therapist, which I never trust.
If Elizabethends up pretending to be lost at seawith her therapist, its all over for me.
Braunwyn continues taking the Sappho Express to Lesbian Station with her live-in girlfriend Shari.
Shes also trash talking her husband Sean at every turn.
The worst was when they were talking about the cake for her six months of sobriety party.
She only took three sympathy bites of that cake.
That should be criminal.
Call the California Attorney General.
Also ask him how the Celebration Cake from SuzieCakes is and if its better than Cookie Dough Bites.
Im asking for a friend and that friend is my belly.
Is this the backdoor pilot to some spin-off series for Braunwyn?
Is she single-handedly trying to cast the next season with her potential lesbian lover and a friend of color?
Can you believe that she ordered not only one organic headboard for her daughters dorm room buttwo?!
She ordered one for the roommate.
She said its because she doesnt want any toxicity around.
Um, your daughter is going to a Christian institution in Waco, Texas.
It is all toxicity everywhere.
Also, her dorm is probably made of cinder blocks.
Its not like shes going to be living in a free-range yurt at college.
Can you imagine your roommates mother making design choices for you?
Sophie is not one of those kids.
Um, no she does not.
Shes going to college.
The whole experience is about filling your body with toxicity.
Shannon tells Sophie that the reason why shes not worried is because Shannon has always worried for her.
Okay, grab a chair, because this is the Official Real Housewives Institutes Guide for Doing Laundry.
Add a Tide Pod.
Stuff everything in the washer.
Put it on cold.
Dry everything on normal.
If you really like it and/or it is denim, air dry.
If you really, really like it or spent more than $200 on it, dry clean it.
I have been doing my laundry for 20 years using this formula and have not ruined one garment.
Shannon is right that Sophie isnt worried, because Shannon has done everything.
Even Sophie realizes this and says she needs to make her own mistakes and learn her own lessons.
Shannon has never had to do this.
