The Real Housewives of Orange County
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All season Ive been moaning, Oh, this whole season is about coronavirus and Im sad.
If it lands on your face, you know if that load is heavy duty.
Just ask any porn star, like Shannons stepson-to-be Joe, also known as Corbin Fishers Brockington.
(How many times do I have to tell you not to Google that?)
Its all so relatable.
Once the vaccine comes, are we going to feel a longing for that novelty all the time?
God, I hope not.
I cant wait to forget just what the hell an R number is.
This is actually kind of a cool episode because its unlike any hour ofReal Housewivesthat weve seen.
What is it with Gina and awful hair?
Emily, of course, is my favorite here.
When shes getting the kids to help clean the house, her son Keller isnt doing anything.
Youre going to be an awful husband someday if you dont learn how to clean, she tells him.
That, right there, is how you raise some feminist kids.
If only his father would behave the same way.
We live in a monarchy now, she says, which is actually best for everyone.
But it gets dark really fast.
Im talking darker than the inside of Siouxsie Siouxs casket.
Im talking darker thanJohn Olivers sexual fantasies about Adam Driver.
She says she feels trapped in her life and trapped in her marriage.
She wants to drink every day.
(So many vacuums.
Then she tells us shes hit him before.
Braunwyn is here on television admitting to spousal abuse?
I mean, staggering.
Also, get some therapy.
Also, shes in therapy, so also get some more.
Also, Sean, get out.
Also, somehow this is Dr. Debs fault.
Anyway, Johns son Joe, a.k.a.
The one who really sounds crazy, though, is Elizabeth.
Cue up my Chandler Bing voice so I can say, Could yousoundany more stupid?
I mean its neither, obviously.
It came from a bat.
They sure are talkingabouther, though.
Even Kelly, her one friend on the show, says that she spreads little half-truths because shes insecure.
It goes even further for Braunwyn.
I am happy to read over them and give you my legal opinion.
Things dont go well for Shannon when she and her daughter Sophie go to get tested.
One of her daughters tests positive, and Shannon, of course, is freaking out.
I dont understand it, she tells Kelly, who is trying to gin up some sympathy.
Ive been so careful.
Thats how this odd and insightful episode ofRHOCends.
What I realized watching it is thatHousewivesis so often about keeping the world at bay.
Its these women in their gated communities and bubbles of privilege dealing with only domestic and interpersonal relationships.
