The Real Housewives of New York City
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Well, its official.
Eboni K. Williams is coming for my job.
She was a fucking cunt.
Yup, that about sums it up.
Where should Vulture send the check?
Even after Ramona finally sits down, Archie …
Ahem, Brian.
Hi, this is Archies PR rep. How are you?
How can I help you?
Get out of here.
This is my recap!
Then show us your heart, Ramona says, chucking her program into the center of the table.
Im sick of reading, I want talking now.
Of course she was rambling on, as Sonja tends to do, but Ramona tries to interrupt her.
Sonja wont let anyone get a word in edgewise.
Its annoying, Ramona says in confessional.
Sonja is getting even louder.
And stop social climbing, she shouts at Ramona.
Its not another yacht, its not another jet, its not another dress.
She slams the table and gets up and runs into the living room.
As I always say about Sonja: shes not dumb, shes just a bad communicator.
Ramona immediately responds, What?
Ramona cant let her have the floor.
Okay, this, right here, is the problem with Ramona.
Since she hasnt experienced it, then it must not exist.
Ramona cant see the distinction between her inconvenience and Linara almost being murdered due to a doctors neglect.
Why cant she take their truths at face value like they accept hers?
Maybe its because she keeps leaving.
Here is a little monologue she gives to the cook while shes off in the kitchen eating.
I think were flustering the host, the hostess.
Is it host or hostess?
You know, it used to be waiter and waitress and now its just waiter.
Its supposed to be singular sex.
Seriously, things have changed in this world.
Im older and Im learning the new world.
Secondly, she is barely trying to learn the new world.
Shes raging against the new world.
Ramona wants to be free.
She wants to be unburdened.
She wants to live without limits, but what she doesnt realize is that her limitlessness walls in others.
Instead of empathy, she wants retraction.
Oh, enough about Ramona.
OH NO, WAIT!
Linda, the genealogical researcher (how is there not anNCIS: Ancestry.comyet?
), found her father.
She explains to Eboni how old he would have been in 198[BLEEP].
Did they bleep out Ebonis birth year?
Is that so that we wont know how old she is?
I mean, that is some Zsa Zsa Gabor bullshit right there.
Is it to give her possible father some privacy?
Is it for her mothers sake somehow?
Where did this bleep come from and what is it hiding?
I need an entire Vox.com explainer right now, c’mon.
(Eboni can also feel free to write this, since apparently shes freelancing these days.)
But Eboni is moved to tears by the news.
She wonders what they will say to each other when they meet, if they meet.
