The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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And yet the aftermath of Jerseys own Zapruder filmin which wewitnessedTeresa tell Danielle topull Margarets hairis even more wild.
How lucky we are to watch history unfold before us.
Their reactions feel like they happen in slow motion.
Dolores shakes her head convulsively.
Joe Gorga, his eyes wide, knows better than to participate in literally any way.
Marge looks like she might vomit.
Youre a real fucking asshole, she tells Teresa.
A fourth-wall-breaking shot pulls out to reveal the four camera guys shooting the group.
At the hands of the producers themselves, no less!
Friendship ended with Danielle.
Now Margaret is Teresas best friend.
If Margaret will have her, that is.
But you did tell her to hurt me, Margaret notes, correctly.
Now, Marge is going to need some time to process.
At least Marty got to stay dry this year.
Teresa and the girls fly in for a weekend visit.
This lights up the same lobe of my brain that is utterly powerless against soldier-dog reunion videos.
But Joe and Teresas marriage is dissolving before our eyes, to riveting effect.
TERESA:Are you sleeping here tonight?
JOE:I dont know.
TERESA:Do you want to ststay with the girls?
JOE:Uh, the beds are little.
TERESA:I mean…
Were you expecting to sleep with me?
JOE:I mean… weve got 20 years in, our marriage.
Teresa gently kicks him out.
The next morning, the family takes a day trip to the Amalfi Coast.
She refuses to reciprocate.
That night, she and Joe sit down for a long-overdue Grownup Talk.
He thinks they can have a long-distance relationship.
They can meet up and have fun together.
But she wants an every-day husband, not just a vacation buddy.
You marry somebody theyre supposed to protect you, she says.
He could have taken responsibility for his actions.
He could have apologized.
He could have told her he understands how she feels.
He could have promised to do better.
Instead, he asks her if shes out of her mind.
The past is in the past, and besides, my crime was a bogus crime.
Do you just want to end it now?
Do you want me to lie to you?
Shes a different person now, even if he isnt.
Its time to move on.
