The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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At least we have theRHONJreunion all three parts of it!
to help us remember the good times.
Stay home, stay healthy, and lets review some reunion highlights.
Everyone looks beautiful, but there are a few outfits in particular I feel compelled to to discuss.
Jennifers dress is what would happen if somebody took a BeDazzler to a set of blueprints.
And then theres Danielle.
Imagine discovering a mini chocolate egg, wrapped in purple foil, at the bottom of your drawer.
Then you remember that Easter was, like, 11 months ago.
And wait hasnt it been, like, six Easters since you last bought these things?
Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jen-knee-fur.
This is cartoon villain energy and it is simply delicious.
Thank you for all that you do for this franchise, Mrs. Aydin.
Margaret believes that her long-estranged father is dead because a psychic told her so.
Dolores is still dating Dr. Boyfriend, but she isnotmoving in with him, no thank you.
Jackie, who is getting along great with everyone, for once (Im genuinely glad to hear it!
Im not sure Im so ready to let them off the hook myself, but whatever.
Melissa says this is not true.
Tre also maintains that they had a great, good marriage and she never knew that he cheated.
Everyone encourages her to make the divorce official ASAP, before he starts angling for spousal support.
May their first child be a masculine child, she hopes.
You know I love the Jersey husbands.
Tre definitely has a crush on Evan.
All the women, except Margaret and Melissa, say they could take or leave oral sex.
(Long liveDunkin Donuts, then!)
They say the 22nd times the charm.
And now, a one-act play:
DANIELLE:I didnt say I was quitting.
I said Im resigning.ANDY COHEN:Okay.MARGARET:What are you resigning from?
You dont even have a job.DANIELLE: Twelve years of thisMARGARET:Twelve years?!
What show were you on for 12 years?DANIELLE:Youll never be an OG.
Never.MARGARET:I dont need to be an Original Granny like you.
Does Tre regret defending Danielle all season?
Tre offers Margaret a hug and an apology for her bad judgment call.
We live in scary times.
So we will we.
just know that you are all the sprinkle cookies in the garbage can of my heart.
Take care until next season, when I look forward to throwing red wine in your face in Cabo.
