The Real Housewives of Miami
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That is exactly what this episode feels like.
The very beginning of the episode is very strange.
A Don Johnson?)
Most remarkably, there are no taglines, at leastnot yet.
The show feels more like Peacocks other recent dalliance into the Andy Cohen diaspora,Real Housewives UGT.
The opening scene gets all the OGs of the series together for lunch.
Hey, bitches, never thought youd see me again, Marysol Patton says.
She shows up at lunch with Alexia Echevarria, the self-titled Cuban Barbie.
They are both wearing red and not really looking like a day has passed.
If Adriana looks slightly different, Larsa has an entirely new body.
Its like she had her consciousness downloaded into a Kardashian.
Adriana has also noticed and lets us know that Larsa is basically a Kim Kardashian look-alike.
You have lunch maybe once a year and occasionally like her pictures on Instagram and thats it.
Its not like theyre all up in each others business.
And were supposed to think she and Alexia do more than exchange Christmas cards?
Throughout the episode, we get updates from everyone.
Adriana is divorced from the man we saw her marry in season three.
Theyre only friends of, so we dont get too deep into it.
She has two kids now after years of battling with infertility (she does not mentionher surrogate).
Shes engaged to a very handsome gringo who has two teen daughters.
His name is Todd, which is the Spanish word for white.
Of the originals, the most interesting, of course, is Larsa.
She also might have broken up an NBA players marriage.
Dont hate the player, hate the game.
That game is basketball.
Hate it because it sucks.
I mean, there are only 59 posts and its free.
How is she making $10,000 a day off of it?
Its all very slut shame-y and sex-negative for my tastes.
Alexia brings it up again when the women go to Larsas house party.
Newbie Dr. Nicole points out that people are posting recipes and other things on OnlyFans.
Sonja Morgan even has an OnlyFans, and shes a bottom who always ends up on top.
It cant be that bad.
Do you know anyone who uses the site for recipes?
(P.S., If you need gay porn OF recommendations, my DMs are open.)
Alexia shouts, But how do you make your money?
Yes, Alexia, its sexual.
What I would really be upset about is this party that Larsa throws.
She says she just likes to wear matching clothes because it reminds her of a sleepover.
I would do that for even a man morsel.
I would do it for a man crumb.
The party is a good chance to meet the rest of the cast.
Shes an anesthesiologist, which is a boring doctor, but those boring doctors always cash in.
