The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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She then said, Come when you want.
I dont care if you come or not, but maybe it would be nice.
The entire problem here is that Teddi refuses to make her intentions clear.
To make it worse, when they ask her questions about it, she can provide no clarity whatsoever.
When should we be there?
What should we bring?
Should we even bother at this point?
I dont know, and I dont really care.
I would find all of this incredibly frustrating.
If you want me to attend something just tell me when and where and I will be there.
In her defense, Sutton is like a dog with a bone with this thing about the retreat.
She keeps bringing it up and panting for an answer.
Just chill out a bit, Sutton.
Relax and dont try so hard and maybe it will happen.
The difference between her and Garcelle, the other new addition to the cast, is stark.
you might see it when everyone arrives at Kyles house for dinner.
Teddi even looks cute wearing a silver lame 70s disco dress.
(How did she afford that?
She deffo got those for free.)
Rachel Zoe just sent it over today!
Denise, fresh from surgery, is wearing a Champagne-and-gold cocktail dress that she makes look effortless.
It looks like a pillow you would find in the discount bin at Pier One.
Immediately everyone lights up and accepts her and wants to talk about her outfit and play with her.
She is everything Sutton wants to be and cant figure out.
I dont know where to sit and Im feeling very uncomfortable.
This isnt musical chairs.
There are enough seats for everyone.
Find the empty chair and smother it with your ready-to-wear monstrosity.
Um, does she know who is at this dinner table?
Has she seen an Erika Jayne video?
Does she know that Lisa Rinna has a whole chapter in her book about blow-job techniques?
When someone asks the particulars, Mauricio says, Were skipping the guys.
He wants no part of productions reindeer games.
I agree with Sutton, this game is dumb.
Its like, I thought you were beautiful at first and now I think youre even more beautiful.
As everyone is being so nice Mauricio says, You are all so sweet.
Then, when Aaron goes on his tirade about Western medicine, Mauricio is like, Yeah, man.
Im not really sure how to address this.
Instead, Aaron launches into a monologue that starts with, Everything you know about medicine is wrong.
Its like the first sentence of a whiteboard YouTube video that is 43 minutes long.
I am not going to attack the contents of Aarons speech.
I dont know what was going on.
He had obviously been drinking, and he might have had a little bit of Mauricios edible.
I have no clue.
Whats really odd is what he and Denise have to say about it.
She tells him to speak very carefully.
This seems, I dont know, far-fetched.
Its all … rather odd.
But then someone brings up the sex of Teddis baby, and everything seems to snap back to normal.
Then the party starts to disband, and everyone hangs around doing shots of Fireball in Kyles living room.
Things eventually get very rowdy and Kyle Richards dependably pulls out her only party trick: doing the splits.
She has to sort of cheat to get down to the carpet, and it made me very sad.
The passage of time gets us all.
