The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Hello, Housewives stans, and welcome to Hotlanta.
Yes, NeNe has left the show before, but this time … it felt different.
Look, I havent liked NeNe on the show for a while now.
Im not gonna lie Im kind of scared for a season without NeNe.
Lets take a bite of that peach, shall we?
We open with Porsha, which honestly feels right, as she gets ready for a confessional interview.
The ladies arrive wearing masks and talking to the producers about COVID-19 protocol.
Instead of their normal decadent homes as background, the ladies are interviewed in front of a black screen.
Its all very intense.
And it should be.
Its deeply personal to them as Black women, but also as Black mothers.
This is not Kyle Richards having dinner conversations with her family about BLM in her Beverly Hills mansion.
Were automatically criminals just because were Black, and its just hurtful, says Kandi.
Yall want me to cry at the beginning of the interview day.
This is terrible, she adds, hitting the nail on the head.
We need to yell this from the rooftop.
No justice, no peace.
We got to get busy.
We watch as Porsha leads a protest chant, shouting, I said I love being Black.
I love the texture of my hair.
And I rock it everywhere, into a megaphone to cheering crowds.
Shes come a long way from slapping the living daylights out of Kenya during that reunion.
Im proud of our girl.
Cynthia is titty-first preparing for her driveway lunch date with Kandi.
This is why I will always love Cynthia.
Thank goodness her Kandi Koated Nights didnt go away because of quarantine.
I wouldnt want to exist in a world where Kandi wasnt getting off on the reg.
We stan a CDC-compliant queen.
Mine are so big and black, Marlo shares.
Why do we have big nipples?
While Marlo seems to be absolutely thriving, Ken(ya) Moore seems to be struggling.
Ken(ya) feels the pandemic is a prison.
Ken(ya) has gained 30 pounds under lockdown and is not happy about it.
Ken(ya)s relationship with Marc Daly is still terrible.
These days, theres too much Ken and not enough Kenya.
Shes not the Kenya Moore we know and love or, more aptly, love to hate.
Until that woman returns, Im going to have to put the (ya) in parentheses.
Ken(ya) needs help.
Ken(ya) needs to get out of this marriage.
Ken needs to get her groove and her (ya) back.
That being said, I am obsessed with Ken(ya)s Afro-futuristic confessional lewk.
Octavia Butler is shaking.
We follow Ken(ya) as she meets with her lawyer to discuss her options with Marc.
Has Kandi Burrus taught you nothing?
You MUST secure the bag.
Shes still got that bite.
I know what Black women want, he says.
Especially Black women celebrities.
But his failure is not your failure.
His failure is his failure.
You gotta get your fight back dog.
Hell yes to my man in the pink tie in the conference room spitting tea.
Its honestly inspiring to me.
That black-and-white photo of her and her grandfather was so sweet and genuinely historic.
If you dont believe me,check out my grandmothers Wikipedia page!
But its never too late!
Just look at PorshaX.
I cant put my finger on it, but the jurys still out on Todd for me.
But Riley, Ace, and the newest adorable edition to the Tucker crew, Blaze, are great.
Babe, you were onThe ChiandCelebrity Big Brotherin the same calendar year.
You WONThe Masked Singer,which was a thing I didnt think people could do.
You wrote No Scrubs and Shape of YouandDont Be Tardy for the Party.
Methinks you’re free to afford to send Riley to college.
Literally imagine someone owing you $100,000 and not talking about it all the fucking time.
Her restraint is mind-boggling to me.
But also, God bless the child thats got his own.
Riley agrees that its time for her dad to step up and help her out.
Also, as a 27-year-old adult man who technically lives with his parents rn (hello, COVID!
Assert your independence, and get that law degree!
Kandi is dressed in Jessica SimpsonDukes of Hazzardcosplay, which is honestly quite appropriate for the occasion.
Honestly, Id be depressed if thats what my backyard looked like as well.
Cynthia and Kandi are so nice about it, though.
says Ken(ya), grasping at straws.
Apparently, Marc never wanted a pool, so Ken decided to build a pool because she wanted one.
Cynthia doesnt like the way Marc talks to Ken.
Kandi says you gave it your best shot but now its time to pack it up.
Its official: Kenya Moore is officially in her flop era.
Like, put my hands on my ears and go La la la la to drown it out.
Yes, Cynthias last wedding to that scam artist Peter was bleak.
It had an unfortunate slate-gray color scheme and also a round of hide-and-seek the marriage license.
I understand why shed want this wedding to be different.
But were living in a pandemic.
Some of our dreams must be temporarily deferred for the good of the public.
Also, a wedding is just a party.
We end the episode back with PorshaAnn Robinsonin Louisville, Kentucky.
I thought we dumped the Hot Dog King a long time ago?
Porsha is arrested at a Breonna Taylor protest in Louisville and spends 13 hours in jail with 87 protesters.
Also, Porshas mug shot is cute and a little wacky, too.
We see photos of Porsha embracing Tamika Palmer, Breonna Taylors mother, and activist Tamika Mallory.
Biggest takeaway from this experience?
Is that Im gonna do it again.
You go, PorshaB.
