The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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For the first 60 minutes of this 75-minute episode, it felt as if maybesomethingwas changing.
Maybe, just maybe, there could be harmony in theReal Housewivesuniverse.
Maybe balance could be brought to the force.
Somewhere, there could be even the tiniest bit of harmony between NeNe and literally any other person.
We want that darkness.
We want that moment when her voice drops three octaves and her eyes go black.
So why is anyone, including NeNe, working to find the lightness within her?
So just embrace the dark side, NeNe.
Lets get to it.
Were waking up in Greece, and all the ladies are taking advantage of the sun and good spirits.
Everyone is in almosttoo goodof spirits.
Porsha is playing with baby PJ, who might be one of Americas cutest babies.
Kandi and Kenya are taking glamour shots outside, and Marlo brought her glam squad with her.
She says, I wish my friends were a little richer so they could have staff here.
Aint no Hot Girl Summer for you.
Kenya doesnt think NeNe was trying to be positive, and she doesnt have any time for bullshit.
The plans for the afternoon are a whirlwind of sightseeing and drinking.
NeNe is deathly afraid of heights, and literally no one gives a shit about her anymore.
Yes, her period is already irregular, but they could have a miracle baby!
NeNe just says, Where is her egg at?
I want that sewn onto a T-shirt.
Everyone is just enjoying their day when Kenya decides to quietly start some shit.
None of these women are gourmands.
One of them is dating someone called the Hot Dog King.
If you want sophistication, look elsewhere.
Do you want to get fucked up 100 feet in the air?
Kenya shouts at everyone for lying down on some ruins for a photo op because its disrespectful.
She mutters, Were not in America.
Act like youve been somewhere!
Kenya has gone full mama.
They head to a restaurant that only serves empty plates for them to smash.
Theyre all supposed to shout something theyre passionate about, and NeNe just shouts Happiness!
EVERYONE is in good spirits, and theyre picking out souvenirs.
Kenya is completely incapable of seeing anyone elses perspective and dresses down her producer.
If THIS is how the questions are going to go, shes going to WALK away.
Cynthia is her good sis, and if she wants to embarrass her, thats her business!
The next morning, theyre heading to a vineyard because this episode is thematic.
On the way, they discuss what Marlo is looking for in a man.
She wants him to be established, well-off, a business owner, wealthy, and rich.
TANYA GETS IT AND KNOWS HOW TO HAVE FUN.
GIVE HER A PEACH!
As long as your man comes home?
On the advice of my therapist, I just fucking cant with this crowd.
They do a wine tasting and Tanya swallows all the wine.
Porsha takes NeNe aside to talk to her about how their friendship has been derailed.
Porsha says that shes trying to maintain certain boundaries and needs NeNe to give her the same boundaries back.
Theyre saying I love you.
Their lashes are falling off.
All is healed so Porsha gets the bright idea that everyone should do this.
This is not a bright idea, but were going with it!
Theyre going to throw a Ruins Party at the villa.
These issues will not be left among the ruins.
NeNe and Porsha refuse to tell anyone what their heart-to-heart was about.
Good start to the Ruins Party.
She starts calling Kenya a big bully and asking if she wants to fight.
Then NeNe starts screaming NEGATIVE BETTY.
This party has been happening for 15 minutes, and its already off the rails.
Cynthia tries to address NeNe, and she wont accept the crown.
So that sends Kenya shouting at NeNe again.
Is this the bipolar NeNe?
NeNe responds with No, youre bipolar.
Thats why your husband left you, bitch.
We all gotta GO HOME.
He never liked you.
Your cat is dry, and your husband is gone.
Its time for BED.
But no, the Ruins Party goes on!
NeNe is throwing popcorn!
Kenya says, kindly go to jail again!
NeNe is spitting on Kenya!
This is what Im saying.
To be continued …
