The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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We made it, folks.
The reason for the season has arrived.
Enter at your own peril.
The safe word is Peach Juice.
Some freak hoe shit definitely went down, it appears.
Someone screwed the stripper.
It wasnt me, but Im going to find out who did it.
Kenya is opening up a new branch of the No.
1 Ladies Detective Agency, but for finding out who got dicked down by Bolo the stripper.
Porsha says that she doesnt need to wear a face shield.
I wanna be unprotected.
I want it raw, she jokes.
Okay, so its THAT kind of party.
yo sign my petition to replaceNicole Kidman in the Lucille Ball biopicwith Porsha Williams.
Soon the ladies are ready and come out in their finest dungeon attire and they all look smoking hot.
Seriously, tens across the board.
LaToya is serving Catwoman.
Kenya THEE stallion, in her red leather getup.
They bring back their alter egos from the murder-mystery party (remember her?)
Shes the secret weapon of this trip.
Despite the fun introduction, Cynthia is still giving Auntie when the brief specifically asked for Nieces.
Yeah, were definitely not packing doggie bags for Mike Hill tonight, babe.
Mistress Angel, a.k.a.
Cynthia wobbles downstairs definitely looking more in theme.
I always knew Cynthia had a wagon, Porsha hilariously remarks re Cynthias ass, and shes not wrong.
Still, theres some residual Auntie energy with Cynthia.
An absolutely huge schlong.
Like, production had to blur it through his pants its so big.
If that makes you uncomfortable, then Im sorry this episode and this recap is not for you.
Big dicks only here.
We then get CynthiasBasic Instinctconfessional where she denies that Bolo gave her any special treatment as the bride-to-be.
Good dick will do that to you, though.
Pay this man what hes owed!
Downstairs, we see Cynthia and Bolo through the shades.
In confessional, Cynthia confirms what were all wondering about Bolo: Its real.
Well, that settles that.
Porsha, who says shes feeling a little bisexual this evening, is caught on-camera making out with LaToya.
Wired: PorToya.3:48 a.m.:Drew seems to be doing some rhythmic table humping.
She describes being face down on the coffee table and feeling very free.
Best franchise to party with, hands down (RHONYs a close second, of course).
Also, Marlo fully caught a literal shark.
Kandi confirms that the shark is the only thing in the known universe thats bigger than Bolos penis.
and turning it into the Salem Witch Trials.
Thats the problem with Kenya; she doesnt know where to draw the line.
When I eventually Ubered back to the house at five in the morning and they asked what happened?
I said, I dont know, because, in all honesty, I didnt know.
To this day, I still dont know.
So, I stand with the women who say they dont really recall the events of the night.
A titty may or may not have fallen into someones mouth.
Its the only time being an influencer has helped someone avoid scandal.
A good-time gal after my own heart.
Somebody run them their overtime check.
I hope these two crazy kids make it.
It is never inappropriate for two consenting adults to have sex in the privacy of their own room.
Lets not be the prude police, Kenya.
Were not Gen-Z TikTokers; were adults.
Either way, Porsha isnt having it and calls Kenya tired and is sick of her Auntie bull.
