The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Lets rate our ladies opening taglines, shall we?
Thats going to get an8/10from me.
We salute you, Porsha Luther King.
Next, weve got new housewife Drew and her runaway groom, Ralph.
Drew gets a2/10for dishonesty.
But Drew doesnt care that her tagline is a lie.
Drew is making pancakes with her adorable kids!
Drew is rocking a sweatshirt that says Christian with a Dior which may be sacrilegious but is very cute!
And you know what always helps a major marital issue?
Rehearsing for a church service run by your mother-in-law, thats what!
Maybe Im dumb and/or hard of hearing, but I didnt understand what Pastor Jeanettes sermon was called.
Bridle Your Tongs?Rydell (High)Your Thongs?
c’mon, tell it like ittis, Pastor Jeanette.
Maybe Kenya … should just date Latoya?
Im being 100 percent serious.
Latoya brings out a fun, devilish, girlish side of Kenya that we havent seen in a minute.
They genuinely seem to enjoy each others company and even Kenya said they have chemistry.
Yes, they are absolutely being mean, but also they are absolutely living for each other.
Kenya and Latoya are the Unfriendly Black Hotties fromMean Girlsand no you CANT sit with them.
Look, the woman contains multitudes and that must be celebrated.
[Palm to face.]
Hot Dog empire or not, our girls gonna be okay.
Why?And most importantlyWhat?
How did she and Simon meet?
I sincerely hope that the viewers watching at home particularly white viewers arent tuning out during these important moments.
(Alexa, just playAlanis Morisettes Ironic.)
The venue looks nice enough but also like it was probably a plantation back in the day.
Not gonna lie, there were someGet Outvibes.
Dude, the shield goes over your nose and mouth, even when youre talking.
Mal, a consistent voice of reason in this crazy world, suggests that C.H.I.L.L.
Once you get earrings with your dream wedding date on them, you know the sensible ship has sailed.
Shes been put through the wringer emotionally and now shes absolutely lost her marbles again for Mike Hill.
With all the nature analogies, its sad that Cynthia cant see the forest for the trees.
She gets a negative10/10/20for that one.
