The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Just when I thought the quiet hell was over, we had to watch MULTIPLE FRAMES OF BOWLING.
Real Housewives of Atlanta,whats happening?
Why are we being led astray?
Do we really not have anything?
But we managed to get, like, 15 full minutes of legit game play.
Im not entirely sure whats happening this season, but … do we not have the footage?
Is there just nothing there?
Is the complete refusal of NeNe Leakes to play along in any context just messing things up?
Maybe its time to throw in some new blood.
Give Tanya and Marlo their peaches and toss in a new shit-stirrer.
Didnt Cardi B just buy a house in Atlanta?
Throw her on the show.
We can FIGURE THIS OUT.
Lets get to it.
So this is what weve got to deal with?
Cynthia says that shes been cheated on, even when her partner didnt have anything to ask for.
He says that if he messes up, thats entirely on him.
Cynthia is asking a completely different question than Mike is willing to answer.
Cynthia also says shes not judging Mike; shes just judging his actions and his reasons for his actions.
Cynthia, Im not sure whats left of a persons makeup after those two things.
OH NO, MICHAEL.
Cynthia does not cheat.
She will never cheat because she is what?
Then Mike does the most annoying thing anyone can do in a relationship: Oh, thats right.Youre perfect.
How did they not sort any of this out before they got engaged?
Great foundation for a marriage.
Hes going to nod along with whatever delusions NeNe is saying.
Yeah, its sad.
I knowHousewivesdrama is predicated on the tiniest bit of drama, but we sure are grasping for it now.
Its time for a full kickball game.
This is like inTwilightwhen suddenly were supposed to watch a vampire baseball game.
Kenyas team, Team Twirl, ends up winning 10-3.
I know that because we watched it in real time.
Everyone is pretty invigorated by the kickball game and thinks they should do it more often.
When Kenya puts on her everyone is having fun here voice, its positively chilling.
Now its time to live in the hellscape that is Kenyas relationship.
Like a couple of times.
Does he want to drown her?
Does he think its funny … to drown her?
like free her from this man.
He did not get the memo that he has to hate everyone his wife hates.
THOSE ARE THE RULES.
If you are in a relationship, you have to have the same enemies.
You cant be sitting down for a meal with someone your spouse has chosen to hate.
Having an enemy is one of the greatest pleasures of being alive.
Im still filled with delicious hateful energy.
Marc says, YOU TOO MUCH TOO HARD TOO MUCH ROUGH SEX.
First of all, BLEAK.
Second of all, who is Marc doing an impression of?
Is he being himself, or is he being Kenya?
Because if hes being Kenya, FUCKING YIKES.
What a fucking dark inside joke.
Dennis and Porsha arrive, and Kenya wants to introduce Marc and Dennis because Dennis is from Detroit too.
Dennis keeps repeating, Detroit women are tough, man.
Does everyone fundamentally hate women?
What is Dennis going to talk to those kids about?
Marc literally tells her at one point to rein it in.
Marc is also annoyed that Kenya didnt invite Tanya to bowling because her fiance couldnt come.
Porsha says, Yeah, it was unfortunate that you called my friend a.
Well, you know the rest.
Gregg tells Marc he cant go anywhere his wife doesnt go, so they need to figure it out.
Marc says, Im not on Instagram.
Thats irrelevant to me.
He goes to Kenya to get her agreement on the topic.
Kenya tells him later that he got what he wanted, and Marc says, What we wanted.
