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How much saliva can you produce in 30 seconds?
For those of you familiar with the more jarring nostril-based method, the process goes like this.
You move your mouth around for half a minute, like youre chewing without food.
This produces saliva, which goes into a test tube.
How many times do you have to do this to obtain the required 1 mL sample size?
For me, it was three.
Not the worst 90 seconds of spit-swapping Ive ever had, but also, not the best.
For American attendees of the 2021 Festival de Cannes, the French event has become an odyssey of spit.
The noun, that is; not the verb.
Thankfully, there are signs that explain all this.
Even theExcelsior Pass, which Andrew Cuomo worked so hard on, doesnt count!
This is easier than it sounds.
You cant just walk in and get tested; you better pre-register online to obtain a QR code.
nudge the official link provided by the festival, and youll often get a malware warning.
(The trick, people say, is to use Safari.)
You dont get a malware warning this time, but you will have to sign in using two-step verification.
Dont get the code sent to your phone number, it simply will not arrive.
Instead, have it sent to your email.
Arent you already in your email app, and wont leaving it mess up the sign-in process?
Thats why its important to have your box nearby.
Youll get the code on your laptop and enter it on your phone.
This will let you finally download the PDF with your results.
Themovies are goodandthe people are beautiful.
Or if they made any sense in general.
Why test for access to the Palais, but not access to the actual theaters?
Masks are technically required in all indoor parameters many signs mandate as much nonetheless mask-wearing in theater remains spotty.
Marion Cotillard fiddled with a mask, but was seemingly persuaded it was unnecessary.
They all strode in, bare-faced, among thousands of strangers.
In the audience, the vast majority of the leading lights of European arts and culture weresansmasks, too.
So maybe it was just opening-night fever?)
But Ive got to go another date with the saliva vial awaits.
Dont you miss the days when the only drooling journalists at Cannes were on the red carpet?
