The Bachelorette
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Before we go any further, let me introduce myself.
Im Edgar Blackmon, and Ill be filling in for Ali Barthwell this week.
Im sure she just has her hands full this week, beingNOMINATED FOR AN EMMYand all!
This weeks episode was billed as being wild and chaotic!
Who would get sent home?
Madness is upon us!
We couldnt get access to the pool for that shot?
That nasty thing was filled with algae!
I thought this was the sex positive season, but the torture must continue!
Kaitlyn gets to deliver the news to the men, and shes cackling!
Really having the time of her life.
Excuse me, sir?
This virgin doesnt masturbate?
Hell naw, I call bullshit.
Masturbating is manna to the virgin.
You see this mans lips?
Like a damn Bratz doll.
Wait, were doing wedding photos on this date?
We just did this!
Fine, lets take fake wedding photos surrounded by a patch of dead desert trees.
Katie covers those lips in frosting and they make out.
This man can KISS!
She also says that she found out that hes not her biological father!
The pain this woman has gone through.
You know what, though?
Justin was so good at listening and being supportive during this moment.
He was like, Baby, take a leap of faith and land on these lips.
I think were falling for Justin!
WhenDrag RaceAll Stars Shea Coulee and Monet X Change sauntered out I screamed at my television.
Daddy Mike A. is with me, hes ready to go all the way with drag!
Oh damn, theyre supposed to throw shade.
Im sure they do NOT have the range.
Okay, and??
Hunter gets his chance at revenge, but he takes the high road instead.
You dont want to go after anyone?
Hunter even got roasted by LeBox James, who is only there because I think Katie forgot about him!
Hunter, you gotta stand up for yourself, fam.
We all learned that Blake masturbates every night, and twice on the weekends.
I guess this IS the sex positive season after all.
You think hating on Wolverines little brother is gonna make this woman fall in love with you?
Katie gets so sick of hearing the men complain about Hunter that she actually throws up.
Welp, thats the end of that date.
Hes Carlton fromFresh Princeon the basketball court.
You want to believe in him, but hes out of his depth.
At the halfway point of this date, they kiss again!
I dont care what music you play underneath, hes a bad kisser!
Two hands to the head EVERY TIME???
The tongue usage is erratic, his rhythm is bad, and hes pressing.
At least this time he held off on the ferocious lip biting.
Hes about to get the Joe Pesci inGoodfellas!
Katie tells him theres no spark, and hes gotta go.
He looks into the camera and says, How bad of a kisser am I?
Connor goes to say good-bye to the guys, and they start bawling!
Its very touching because theyre gonna miss him.
All yall cant marry Katie, soooo link up on Instagram and lets keep it moving.
Talk about someone knowing how the game is played.
Blake is playing CHESS!
The men are shook!
Tre looks like he just got done singing backup for Silk Sonic.
If its not there, its not there!
Katie gives roses to everyone you would expect, and also Brendan?
What did I miss!?
Is it the power of the Kate Gosselin Haircut?
