The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
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Just for a second.
Is she the uber-cycle?).
I could blame everything thats happening outside.
I feel like a dope and this show got me.
But were also gonna have to talk about another thing to really talk about this finale.
Literally nothing about this show is coherent or consistent.
They 100 percent would have won and I would have been happy about that.
And without Rudi and Matt, there would have been no drama this episode.
Lets get to it.
Once they arrive, they all head to the theater where their final performance is going to take place.
Didnt Rudi and Matt have an overnight date at that hotel in the California desert?
Youhaveto be on the same page to head into the fantasy suites.
Chris Harrison leaves every interaction this episode by saying, As always, listen to your heart.
Where is his Etsy store where he sells tote bags with Listen To Your Heart on them?
Everyone is getting their song assignments, but Rudi and Matt are allowing themselves to wallow in anxiety.
Matt keeps pacing in the hallway and Rudi has burrowed into the throw pillows on the bed.
The other couples are blissfully unaware and are spending the afternoon staring into each others eyes.
So the time has finally arrived and yeesh, Matt went about this the entirely wrong way.
The show definitely forced his hand but man, oh man, this was an oof.
Unfortunately for Matt, Rudi was over it before this conversation even began.
Somewhere deep in her soul, she knew what was coming.
Matt starts by aggressively complimenting Rudi and saying how shes impacted his life.
Matt just doesnt know if theyre at the same place as the other couples.
You know what would have avoided some emotional strife and been good television?
IF THEY TALKED ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP.
If Matt had waited until their fantasy suite date and framed the conversation as, How are you feeling?
Reassure me that what Im feeling is okay, this could have ended up in a different place.
I dont want you to resent me.
Im not saying another strategy would have gone perfectly, but this definitely could have gone better.
Without Rudi and Matt, this episode marches forward without any other real drama or any production value.
WHERE ARE THE HOT AIR BALLOON RIDES?
Jamie is from Nashville.
They couldnt find a few of her friends to fill a distillery-slash-cocktail lounge?
They phoned this in and Im mad about it.
Bri and Chris and Jamie and Trevor head out for their fantasy suite dates.
Trevor says that hes not always confident in his singing and his artistry but hes given her confidence.
They head up to the bed and make out.
First of all, you could still have a fantasy suite date without having sex.
Bri didnt partake in theBachelorsanctioned sex ritual, so she must be punished.
Its time for the final performance!
Taye Diggs and Jewel had a couple moments slightly making fun of how sentimental the show is.
I adore both of them and their hats.
Up first is Jamie and Trevor.
Both of them are just whisper-singing and barely enunciating.
Every performance has five back-up singers and 3-4 violin players.
Next, they sing Speechless by Dan + Shay.
Jamie says that her dad is watching and Kaitlyn says my dad watched my season.
She is and continues to be one of the God Tier Bachelorettes.
They just left the song alone and sang.
What a bold choice on this weird-ass show.
Again, in a show comprising the most milquetoast musical performances, clapping is revolutionary.
Jewel says they held their own when the band was stripped away and they found their harmonies.
Rita Wilson says that theyve found the right partner and theyre probably going to have babies soon!
The judges head out to deliberate and everyone is backstage making out.
She can perform only covers while staring directly into her boyfriends eyes.
Lets not get crazy, Chris.
Chris Harrison reminds us that Bri and Chris were the first to say I love you.
And the winner is…BRI AND CHRIS!
A title card comes up that says theyre still in love and working on their debut album.
Thats all for this season.
Hang in there, Bachelor Nation, and as always, listen to your heart and medical professionals.
