Summer House
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I am really disappointed inSummer House.
No, Im disappointed because no one got thrown out of the house.
I want the ousting I was promised, damn it.
But it couldnt be Jules getting kicked out.
Didnt we see her in the same season-long preview crawling into bed with Carl?
Since that hasnt happened yet, she has to stick around.
The feud between Jules and Jordan seems like something of a production issue as much as a personal one.
Amanda says she feels bad for Jules being manipulated.
Does she think that Jordan is manipulating her into a relationship to stay on the show?
When everyone gets to the house, Jules confronts Jordan about the texts.
He goes looking for them in his phone and cant find them.
Its because he deleted them.
God, what is wrong with Jordan?
And when he finds out that theyre gone, why insist that he deletes texts all the time.
Not even drug dealers do that.
Not even promiscuous teens do that.
Edward Snowden does that.
Jordan is especially bad at the reality-television arts and sciences.
He makes the No.
1 mistake, which is trying to mold reality or paper over the truth.
Let me give you some CliffsNotes for your party tomorrow.
She only complains, no deep convos.
I really need you two to go to bat for me tomorrow, he apparently said.
He knew they were going to see her while on-camera and wanted them to defend him.
She then reminds him that Hannah is the one who invited him.
This looks mostly like behind-the-scenes shenanigans.
What this sounds like to me is that Jordan wants back on the show at the expense of Jules.
What, he cant make a day trip?
Just because he heard about the party, he has to come all weekend?
What is missing from all the conversations about who comes and who goes is some discussion about contracts.
Was Jules given a full-season order?
Can they even chuck her if they want to?
Hannah calls her insecure and too eager to be everyones friend.
I feel really bad for Carl.
(But imagine how amazing it would have been if Lindsay was around for that house meeting?!)
My poor beloved Carlito, who looks so sexy in a toga that it is almost criminal.
Also, how good does Kyle look in his toga?
That Kyle was a Greek in college makes so much sense.
Kyle really knows how to turn a party out.
This is what a production budget can do for your backyard shindig.
you’re able to ransom a waterslide away from a little kids birthday.
you’ve got the option to order all of the novelty floats in all of Amazon Prime.
That is the American Dream.
That is 37 years old.
(I made these parties up, but if they exist, I would like to be invited.)
Its not just that she wants to bone, its that she actually likes him, too.
That sure seemed like consent to me, but Luke said that he needed to wait.
I need a week to figure it out.
I hope so, but I worry about this.
These days everything seems to happen all at once and then not ever again.
