Selling Sunset
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The start of this episode really strained all credulity for me, though.
Chrishell and Heather meet at an outdoor coffee spot and decide to bring up Jasons height.
Anyway, they say hes five-foot-five, which is more generous than the portions at the Cheesecake Factory.
That leaves Jason still at five-foot-nine, which is Chrishell in a kitten heel.
Where is he going to get the other three inches he needs?
Heather says shes telling everyone, and it wasnt even a real relationship.
And it was seven years ago.
I was 27 years old, she says, as if that is young enough to excuse any indiscretion.
Oh, scratch the last one.
Ive talked shit about every groom Ive ever come across, and I still get wedding invites.
Take the hint, people.
Why havent we even heard a name?
Yes, this is Brian Moylan.
Look, I have a case for you guys.
Will you find the missingSelling Sunsetformer fiance?
We have questions, and we need to know if hes taller than Jason, which he definitely is.
Okay, thank you for your service, and we will respect your privacy during this difficult time.
This is what you should be working on.
This is a $1 millioncommission.
He introduces her to Sean the Realtor.
Oh, you thought I meant the house?
Im still on Sean the Realtor.
Theres an in-home spa with a hot tub, and a twink hasdefinitelydied in there.
I mean, if you like these kinds of amenities, great.
How much did Moon Juice pay for this?
Is Jason sleeping with the owner?
When did this show do product placement for anything other than obscene real estate?
Everything about this is wrong.
Is the new you just an Instagram filter only it’s possible for you to see?
I believe all of this to be true as well, but only because the show told me to.
Next, Chrishell shows Simu Liu (a.k.a.
Shang-Chi) a house with a waterfall and a huge wall of bookshelves.
This is L.A. Who even has books?
Anyway, the house is nice.
I have only one question: Are they fucking?
He says it needs an update, and what he means is the kitchen is old.
Its like white-refrigerator old.
Its a box of Boo-Berry from 1987 rotting in the cupboard old.
Why was Slash living in a time capsule for all of those years?
Was his hat just a little too low?
Oh, hold on one minute my phone is ringing.
Yes, this is Brian Moylan.
Oh, hi, Page Six.
Ive been waiting for you to call back.
What do you mean this man does not exist?
What do you mean its all a ruse?
Can that possibly be true?
Well, Im just going to keep assuming hes real.
But youre right: We will need some verification at some point.
