Selling Sunset
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Can she even say that?
Is she Cardi B?
She surely doesnt look like Cardi B, just based on her voice and musical stylings.
For some reason, I picture her as looking likeLita Fordbut without a head.
Why without a head?
Have you noticed that this show loves to focus on women from the tee-tahs down?
Finally, someone sits down at lunch, and youre like,OH,its Mary.
This episode starts when Mary goes to meet Ayoub, the younger brother of rapper French Montana.
Ayoub is a tasty little treat and I would like to French his Montana.
There is also an all-white grand piano, and Mary asks Ayoub if French plays.
It also doesnt sayshe sold it in September for $5 millionto another Oppenheim Group client.
Its weird that she goes out of her way to say her name and then … Ooooh oh oh oh oh oh.
Who is this person?
Does she have a face?
Is this just Heather with better hair extensions after shes been stretched out on the rack?
Then we hear Jason say, Emma!
Of course its Emma.
I have a lot of things going on, she keeps saying.
She has so many things.
What are the things?
Cant say, but there are things.
An empanada business, maybe?
Anyway, Jason wants her to come back to the firm full-time to replace Christine while shes on maternity.
Shes like, I have to think about it because things.
This show is more staged than all of the listings Chrishell has that she wont be allowed to buy.
Inevitably, Emma is joining the show.
As soon as Christine spoke her name, we knew wed see her.
And as soon as Jason asked her, we knew her answer would be yes.
Why do we have to stretch this out throughout an episode like its creating drama?
Even asking the question is just some dumb game I play with myself.
While the ladies have yet to meet Emma, theyre about to get more familiar with Vanessa.
Oh wait, thats just me.
I smell a spin-off!
So does Heather, which is why she is slowly poisoning Romaine by putting arsenic in his sugar cookies.
Number 1: her clothes.
Number 2: her attitude.
I only bring it up because Vanessa is like, We just had lunch yesterday.
Its so much back and forth and coaxing about what team she is going to be on.
At the end of the season, the bigger tribe wins.
That is totally what these women are doing with Vanessa; its just factions.
She doesnt care about her.
I say the same to #TeamChrishell.
Mary thinks shes just being sweet, but shes trying to get allies too.
Christines shower is a mountain, and that mountain is named Peak Christine.
Cant we just let them be hot and put a banana leaf over their, ahem, bananas.
The problem is, it actually needs to be a CH name.
You cant be Christian, Christine, and Carl or Corey or Claire.
Thats now how this works.
