RuPauls Drag Race
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After what has seemed like an eternity,Drag Raceis BACK.
And along with a new crop of queens comes a new recapper.
If you like these recaps, you’re able to follow me @OrangePaulp.
If you are from Reddit, c’mon contact me on my business account @MattRogersTho.
But enough about me, lets get into this jam-packed season premiere!
Or, apparently, just the first half.
After watching this group of girls, I can see why.
Time to meet the dolls!
First out of the gate is BritaFilter.
Brita proclaims that she is THE queen of New York City drag, and, honey?
You better believe it.
Brita is a polished pro, known for her high-energy lip syncs to gag-worthy remixes of Top 40 hits.
At this point, youve probably guessed, dear reader, that I am a bona fide Brita STAN.
Heidi N. Closet enters the workroom on a high note.
The North Cackalacky queen positively drips with southern charm, kooky humor, and pageant glamour.
Im eager to see what she brings both to the competition and the confessional booth.
The much anticipated Gigi Goode walks in wearing an ensemble thats high fashion for the high seas.
Gigi Goode is young, stunning, and polished.
Its easy to see why shes been an early fan favorite online.
Based on this episode alone, I will freely admit that I am addicted to Crystal Methyd.
Shes hilarious, irreverent, and bizarre, a veritable drag triple threat.
The queens must turn two high-fashion looks: one fall, one spring.
Im eager to see if any of these queens can live up to it.
Well … not quite.
But its a great runway!
With Fashion Week concluded, its time to announce this weeks maxi challenge, and it is a DOOZY.
They will be performing it livein front of Nicki Minaj!Brra ta ta ta and rejoice, Barbz.
The girl-group challenge has quickly become a staple in the Drag Race Cinematic Runiverse, and for good reason.
Sitting on a Secret stans and Frock Destroyers Hive RISE UP.
But can these queens deliver a song of that caliber?
Based on the dance rehearsal, maybe not.
Back in the werkroom the next day, the girls commiserate about staying up all night rehearsing.
Soju and her cyst have 24 hours to respond.
With Heidis revelation out of the way, the sleep-deprived queens prepare for their performance.
However, there are three clear standouts.
First, Gigis solo is a GAG.
She struts center stage and salutes us: Good morning campers …
I hope you saved room for thirds.
Cuz shes the third verse?
Second, Heidi N. Closet.
I really thought Heidi had it in the bag, until Widow VonDu stepped out.
Sorry did I say stepped?
I meant flew into a jump split and a one-handed back bend.
To borrow a phrase, Widow is That Bitch.
Its off to the runway!
The theme this week is, umm… sparkle.
Well, its been 12 seasons!
They cant all be winners.
Including their sparkle runway, the queens have turned a total of four looks this episode.
Im tired just typing that!
Finally, its time for critiques.
The judges praise Heidi N. Closets performance, but hate her name.
(Can we cut this girl a break??)
Its worth mentioning that theres definitely some drama brewing between two of the drag queens this week during judging.
But Ru makes sure Nicki gets in the last word at the end of the judges deliberation.
Now, Nicki, Im curious, Ru begins innocuously.
What would your Im That Bitch rap sound like?
Suddenly, Nicki has her iPhone X in hand and begins to do what she does best: SPIT.
American Express in my Birkie / If he got a real big D he can hurt me.
God, I missed this show.
That is, until Ru announces that no one is going home this week.
Personally, I love this twist.
These queens are so talented; its worth keeping them around for another week at least.
By leaving this twist to the last minute, Ru solved that problem.
We still get a lip sync.
And boy is it a LIP SYNC.
Gigi is cute and funny, but Widow is ferocious.
She claims her place as a Lip-sync AssassinTMand as the queen to beat this season.
And with that, were off to the races.
It DO Take Nerve!
Quotes that left me mouth agape.
What is it you hate so much about my face?
Heidi N. ClosetCan you imagine raising your hand, and saying this straight-faced to NICKI MINAJ?
It DO take nerve.
Who wouldve thought that behind that clown makeup was this cute twink?
Jackie CoxDo you hear that?
Thats the sound of 10,000 gays tweeting this screenshot with the caption me.
A meme is born.
