Riverdale
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Hey, look at us.
Who would have thought?
Weve made it to yet anotherRiverdaleseason finale, although this one comes, objectively, too soon.
Hello to you, maam!
Yes, the coronavirus is happening right now, and the rumors are true, its pretty shitty.
(Buy low and tattoo Jarchie on your body now, just in case.)
Betty suggests her boyfriend write a monster story about their principal.
If he doesnt leave Riverdale, Betty warns, theyll kill him.
The kids agree to take turns watching Honey, and Cheryl is up first.
(I dont remember what the rest of them are so busy doing like, homework?)
Unless the perpetrators reveal themselves, the principal declares prom officially canceled.
V checks the mans pulse hes dead.
Who has experience in getting rid of a dead body?
Veronica asks, and everyone but Reggie raises their hand.
I love nothing more than whenRiverdaleacknowledges how fucked up it is.
For the most part.
IRL, Betty discovers that Honey has canceled prom at every single school where hes worked.
Its that easy: Prom is back on, to great celebration.
But excuse me, hold it, Mr. Honey found something another videotape!
Could this be a copycat?
Betty reviews the footage carefully and finds Mr. Honey himself momentarily visible in a reflection, holding a camera.
JBDTF: Pore Reg is daid.
Now Cheryl is losing it; Veronica is furious with Bughead and Archie for their monstrous behavior.
Were all monsters in this town, Jug argues.
IRL: Mr. Honey, unsurprisingly, gets fired, but remains unrepentant.
Hes off to Stonewall Prep, where hell serve as their new headmaster at triple his current salary.
She hands Jughead an envelope that Honey had told her to mail, addressed to the University of Iowa.
What he finds inside an unexpected glowing letter of recommendation on his behalf inspires him to rewrite his story.
JBDTF: We return to the moment that Archie and Veronica discovered their hostage on the floor.
But this time, Archie calls 911 and Veronica administers CPR.
Their friends are horrified, their lives may be ruined, but they did the right thing.
Back in real life, Jughead vows hes done reveling in the towns sickness.
But that doesnt mean he can escape it another video has found its way to the Smith-Cooper doorstep.
The cabin is littered with trash.
Theres a bare mattress.
A tattered bed sheet hanging on a wall, a rickety projector without film.
I find this atmosphere genuinely very unsettling, so well done,Riverdale.
Also waiting for them is a TV and VCR with a tape ready to be played.
They jointly stab him to death.
On the one hand: I love the weird-ass horror imagery weve decided to lean into in this scene.
This feels like a cliffhanger, but Im not exactly sure what cliff it is Im hanging off.
Are we supposed to believe thats actually Mr. Honey getting stabbed under that mask?
All of that said: Ignore me.
I thinkRiverdaledid the best it could, given the situation.
In the meantime, just stay safe, and dont forget to pick out the perfect corsage for me.
