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Below is Spearss complete statement to Judge Brenda Penny, lightly edited, in her own words.
So I have this written down, I have a lot to say.
So bear with me.
Basically, a lot has happened since two years ago the last time I was in court.
The people who did that to me should not be able to get away and walk away so easily.
I was on tour in 2018 that I was forced to do.
It was very threatening and scary and, with he conservatorship, I couldnt even get my own attorney.
So out of fear, I went ahead and did the tour.
When I came off that tour a new show in Las Vegas was supposed to take place.
But no, I was told this is the timeline and this is how its going to go.
I rehearsed four days a week.
Meaning, I actually did most of the choreography and taught my dancers my new choreography myself.
I take everything I do very seriously.
There is tons of video with me at rehearsals.
I wasntgood, I was GREAT.
I led a room of 16 new dancers in rehearsals.
Its funny to hear my managers side of the story.
Its never at rehearsals.
They dont even see me so how are they even claiming that?
I said no, I dont want to do it this way.
Maam, Im not here to be anyones slave.
I can say no to a dance move.
It made no sense at all.
I said, I can wait.
They told me I could wait.
Because I was really, really hard on myself and it was too much.
I couldnt take it anymore.
So I remember telling my assistant, But you know what?
All of this was false.
He immediately, the next day, put me on Lithium.
He took me off my normal meds that I have been on for five years.
But he put me on that and I felt drunk.
I really couldnt even take up for myself.
I couldnt even have a conversation with my Mom or Dad, really, about anything.
Not only did my family not do a Goddamn thing my, Dad was all for it.
He was the one who approved all of it.
My whole family did NOTHING.
You are going to pay $60,000 a month for this.
I cried on the phone for an hour and he LOVED every minute of it.
I packed my bags and went to that place.
They watched me change every day naked, morning, noon and night.
My body, I had no privacy.
No door for my room.
I gave eight gallons of blood each week.
I never had a say in my schedule.
They always told me I had to do this.
I just thought that maybe if I said that enough I might become happy because Ive been in denial.
Ive been in shock.
You know, fake it till you make it?
But now I am telling you the truth, okay, Im not happy.
Im so angry its insane.
Maam, they should be in jail.
They set back, the whole courts, and allowed him to do that to me.
That is giving these people I have worked for WAY too much control.
You have to go.
They said that to me.
I dont even drink alcohol, but I should considering what they put my heart through.
None of the kids did the program.
They never showed up for any of them.
You didnt have to do anything you if you didnt want to.
How come they always made me go?
Nothing had been done.
Like you thought I was lying or something.
Im telling you again because Im not lying.
I want to feel heard.
I want changes and I want changes going forward.
Maam, I didnt know that I could petition the conservatorship to end it.
Im sorry for my ignorance but I honestly didnt know that.
But, honestly, I dont think that I owe anyone to be evaluated.
Ive done MORE than enough.
Its embarrassing and demoralizing what I have been through.
And that is the main reason.
Ive never said it openly.
And mainly I didnt wanna say it openly cause I didnt think anyone would believe me.
Im sorry, Im an outsider and Ill just be honest, I didnt believe it.
I just want my life back.
Its been 13 years and its enough.
Now, going forward Im not willing to meet or see anyone.
Ive met with enough people against my will.
And I would honestly like to sue my family, to be totally honest with you.
I want be able to be heard on what the did for me.
But making me keep this in, its not good for my heart.
Ive been so angry and I cry every day.
It concerns me that Im told Im not allowed to expose the people who did this to me.
And, actually, I have the right to use my voice and take up for myself.
I needed to get this off my heart, the anger and all of it.
Its not fair that they tel lies openly.
And my own people say I cant say one thing.
Its been two years.
He told me I should keep it to myself.
And I would like to be able to do that.
The main reason I am here is that I want to end the conservatorship without having to be evaluated.
The only time they dont is if a concerned family member says something is wrong with this person.
Especially if I get my fair turn in exposing what they did to me.
I have three meetings a week I have to attend, no matter what.
I just dont like feeling like I have to work for the people I pay.
I would like to do one meeting a week with a therapist.
Ive never, even before they sent me to that place, I only have two therapy sessions.
I have a doctor and then a therapy person.
What Ive been forced to do in my life is illegal.
I shouldnt be told I have to be available three times a week to these people I dont know.
They had been going to therapy twice a week and a psychiatrist.
Ive never in my life had to do this.
It takes too much out of me going to this man I dont know.
Im scared of people.
I dont trust people after what Ive been through.
[Theres also] the clever setup of being in West Lake, one of the most exposed places.
The paparazzi got me yesterday literally crying in therapy.
I deserve privacy when I go and have therapy.
Either at home, like theyve done for eight years.
They always came to my home.
He, yes, illegally abused me, 100 %, by the treatment he gave me.
In other words, my team is pushing it with me again.
I dont like it.
I dont want to do that.
I havent done anything wrong to deserve this treatment.
Its not okay to force me to do anything that I dont want to do.
You have to do what youre told for this program and then we will let you go.
I BEGGED them to let me do this at my home so that I would have privacy.
It makes no sense; the laws need to change.
Maam, Ive worked since I was 17 years old.
I truly believe this conservatorship is abusive.
I dont feel like I can live a full life.
I dont owe them to see a man I dont know and share my personal problems.
I dont even believe in therapy; I always think you take it to God.
I want to end the conservatorship without being evaluated.
In the meantime, I want this therapist once a week.
I want him to come to my home.
All these nice dinners with people drinking wine at restaurants, watching me in these places.
I need your help.
But my requests are to end the conservatorship without being evaluated.
And they made it even worse for me after that happened.
Ive also done research… wait.
It also took a year during COVID to get me any self-care methods.
She [Jodi] said there were no services available.
Shes lying, maam.
My mom went to the spa twice in Louisiana during COVID.
For a year I didnt have my nails done, no hairstyling, and no massages.
No acupuncture, nothing, for a year.
I saw the maids in my home with their nails done different each time.
Team wants me to work and stay at home instead of having longer vacations.
They are used to me sort of doing a weekly routine for them and Im over it.
I dont feel like I owe them anything at this point.
They need to be reminded they actually work for me.
Also, I have a friend that I used to do AA meetings with for two years.
Theyre making me feel like I live in a rehab program.
This is my home.
Id like for my boyfriend [Sam Asghari] to be able to drive me in his car.
Cause I know I actually do need a lil therapy [laughs].
And I would like to be able to progressively move froward.
I want the real deal.
I want to get married and have a baby.
I was told right now in the conservatorship that Im not able to get married or have a baby.
I have an [IUD] inside my body right now, but I wanna get pregnant.
I want it taken out so I can start trying to have another baby.
So basically, this conservatorship is doing me WAY more harm than good.
I deserve to have a life.
Ive worked my whole life.
I deserve to have a 2-3 year break to just do what I wanna do.
And Im tired of feeling alone.
And thats all I wanted to say to you.
Thank you again for letting me speak today.
