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Somewhere between these two quotes lies the magic of the Muppets.
Link Hogthrob
Talent:1/10
Looks:0/10
Personality: 0/10
TOTAL:1
Link Hogthrob is a male chauvinist pig.
He does get some points for looking exactly how a Muppet named Crazy Harry should look.
Lips
Talent:3/10
Looks:1/10
TOTAL:4
Lips is the most forgettable member of the Electric Mayhem.
Literally.Theyve forgotten to include him in several appearances over the years.
Poor Lips, but the Electric Mayhem rocks just as hard without him.
But again, the Muppet mastered the physics of boomeranging literal fish.
That cannot be overstated.
Dont make me laugh.
Rizzo the Rat
Personality:4/10
TOTAL:8
Rizzo the Rats entire personality is being a sarcastic New Yorker.
Its annoying in Hinge dates, and its annoying in Muppets.
A classic example of how male-coded Muppets who look like honeydews just keep failing upward.
Camilla the Chicken
Personality:5/10
TOTAL:13
Camilla the Chicken is the original ride-or-die.
Shes also always able to bust out many talents to support whatever scheme Gonzo is pulling.
Plus, she has pretty eyelashes to check that you know she is a girl chicken.
Beaker
TOTAL:14
Beaker is the true Muppet of Science on this list!
And still, he returns to the lab to meep meep another day.
He doesnt speak much, choosing to mostly express himself through the sax.
He might also canonically be bothJewish and homeless, so, a lot to unpack there.
Overall, great riffs and great shades.
Uncle Deadly
Talent:8/10
Looks:8/10
Personality:3/10
TOTAL:19
Uncle Deadlys shtick is somewhat hard to discern.
Sam the Eagle
Looks:15/10
Sam the Eagle is the only hot Republican.
I will not be taking questions.
He is everything you could want from a Muppet, nothing more, nothing less.
Bork bork bork, indeed.
Janice
Personality:6/10
TOTAL:21
If vibes were a Muppet, theyd be Janice.
She is easily the most versatile member of the Electric Mayhem, playingthe guitar, trumpet, and tambourine.
And just look at her!
You know she was microdosing molly before it was cool, fer suuuure.
These two just get it.
Waldorf
Looks:7/10
TOTAL:23
Everything I said about Statler also applies to Waldorf, but Waldorf is slightly hotter.
I WILL NOT BE TAKING QUESTIONS.
Sweetums
Looks:10/10
Personality:10/10
JUSTICE FOR SWEETUMS!!!
Sure, Sweetums has very little discernible talent but thats only because he is tragically underutilized.
Dr. Teeth
TOTAL:24
Hey, its calledDr.
Teethand the Electric Mayhem for a reason.
Plus look at this guys style,has anyone looked more natural onstage with Sir Elton himself?
Kermit the Frog
Personality:9/10
TOTAL:26
Look, the Muppets wouldnt be the Muppets without Kermit.
Hes ostensibly the shows leader, straight man, and moral center.
All that pressure is enough to make any Muppet a little bit emo, and Kermit is no exception.
All of which are beautiful symphonies that speak to the most frigid-hearted among us, myself included.
Fozzie Bear
TOTAL:27
If youre lucky, you have a friend in your life like Fozzie Bear.
Gonzo
TOTAL:28
As far as Muppets go, none have the range like Gonzo.
One minute hes pursuing his ridiculous dream of stuntsmanship, and another hes wrestling with his unknown identity.
Rowlf the Dog
Looks:9/10
TOTAL:29
The Muppets can sometimes get tangled up in their special brand of chaos.
When that happens, it takes a special Muppet to bring the heart back to front and center.
Enter Rowlf the Dog.
It could be that,according to some, Rowlf was the closest expression of Jim Hensons personality.
On this list of 30 Muppets, only three of them are coded as femme/female.
And then there is Miss Piggy.
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