American Crime Story
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Monica and Linda call each other obsessively, back and forth, umpteen times a day.
There will never be room for Monica at the White House.
But Monica is delusional.
Linda matches her delusions, of course.
She worried theres a target on her back because she used to bring Vince Foster his lunch tray.
(To be fair, someone did anonymously leave a Clinton hit list on her desk.)
She encourages Linda to start taping their calls, but Linda hesitates (again).
Soon, though, Linda convinces herself shes doing her girl a favor by blowing up her spot.
Monica visits the White House (again) without an appointment (again), but Bills watchingG.I.
Janewith Chelsea (decent movie choice).
For some expository reason that the show does nothing to foreshadow or explain, Lucianne grows tender.
She warns Linda that the Clintons dont fuck around when it comes to their enemies; Monicawillbe smeared.
That isnt an abuse of power just a bad relationship.
So Linda goes fishing for something more conventionally conspiratorial.
In a phone call we dont see (praise be!
), a WH friend tells Linda that Monicas name has a black mark next to it.
She relays the devastating but obvious news to Monica in a phone call we do see.
It would be a thoughtful suggestion if it werent also entrapment.
CALLS, CALLS, CALLS.
Monica informs Bill shes moving to New York, which he thinks is a great idea.
Life is long, he says, condescendingly, because men are assholes.
For such a young person, Monica is spookily good with older men.
She knows the right ways to stroke Vernons ego and how much to laugh at his nothing conversation.
Its so nice to meet someone genuine in this town, Monica tells him cannily.
Bill needs to follow up with Vernon, says Linda.
Its banana-and-milk-only day, says Monica.
No, its beets-only day.
No, fuck beets; Linda is done with beets.
The tapes are accumulating.
The tapes live in a basket on the coffee table.
Linda and Monica fall asleep on the phone, not unlike me and my high-school boyfriend.
The U.S. ambassador to the U.N. offers Monica a job, but she would rather hawk makeup.
Bill is going to call Vernon, says Monica.
Maybe its time to apologize to Betty, says Monica.
Maybe Monica should go to the West Wing Christmas party.
TAPES, TAPES, TAPES.
Eventually, Linda loses it and hangs up, and I cant blame her.
Monicas emotions are giving me whiplash, too.
She hates the president; she loves the president.
Linda eventually calls her back, guilty.
I have something to confess, she starts.
I lost three pounds.
As a teen, she had an affair with a guy on her high schools drama staff.
When she went away to college in Portland, he followed, and the relationship resumed.
Before that, when she was 14, a camp counselor tried to have sex with her.
Its nothing remotely like love, and yet its the closest shes come.
Linda watches her young friend sleep, her face a picture of maternal concern.
Then she promptly tells Lucianne about the sullied dress.
Itll hurt Luciannes bottom line, but I guess her hatred for the Clintons matters to her more.
Linda even smiles as she gets served.
Bill doesnt blink when he learns Monicas being roped into the Paula Jones suit.
Monica is a good girl, and shell say what needs to be said.
He cant know that the problem is already bigger than a lovestruck interns loose lips.
He stares across the bedroom at his sleeping wife and … what?
We dont know Bill well enough at this point to imagine what hes thinking.
But we can guess.
