We started talking one day, and we never stopped.
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Brooks was instantly smitten so much so that it also unleashed a creative fire within.
Excerpt From All About Me!
After I get the key, well go back to work at my place.
So I tagged along.
After a few minutes, the guest star, Anne Bancroft, takes the stage.
Id never seen anything like it.
She was just incredibly beautiful.
She laughed and shouted back, Who the hell are you?
I said, Im Mel Brooks!
Nobody youve ever heard of!
She said, Wrong!
Ive got your2000 Year Old Manrecord with Carl Reiner.
That was the beginning.
After Buddy got the key for their song, he said, Lets go back to my place.
I said, Forget it.
I think Im in love.
I went backstage to see Anne.
We started talking, and we never stopped.
I asked her, What are you doing after this?
Lets go out for coffee.
She said, Im sorry, I have an appointment.
I have to see my agent, Bernie Seligman, at the William Morris office.
I said, Bernie Seligman?
I have to see him too!
I promised to get back to him two weeks ago.
I said, Lets share a cab.
When we hit the street, I whistled for a taxi.
She was really impressed with my whistle.
Thats the best taxi whistle Ive ever heard, she said.
True or not, it struck a chord.
That was February 5, 1961.
A date Ill never forget.
Every night that week, I checked on where she would be.
I found out who her friends were, and I called them.
For some reason, they trusted me and actually told me her whereabouts.
By the end of the week, I said to her, Its amazing!
Were always showing up at the same places!
She laughed and shouted back, Its not Kismet.
If you wanna see me, why dont you be brave and ask me for a date?
She said yes, and I saw her almost every night.
She loved foreign movies; I loved foreign movies.
She loved Chinese food; I loved Chinese food.
Which leads me to a pretty funny story.
So one night when we went to a Chinese restaurant, I was running low on cash.
In those days, one of the least expensive dinners out was at a Chinese restaurant.
Knowing my financial situation, when the check arrived Anne slipped me a $20 bill under the table.
The check came to about 11 or 12 bucks.
I gave the waiter the $20 and said expansively, Keep the change.
When we got outside, Anne hauled off and smacked me!
Listen, big shot, dont leave such a big tip with my money!
She could hit pretty hard, so I never did that again.
I remember one night she said, Dont worry.
I believe in you.
Youre gonna go places … you wont always be poor.
Like I said, this was not a great time for me as far as making money was concerned.
I took almost any job I could get.
Commercials were a lifesaver.
It went like this:
Dont write with a peach.
If you write with a peach, youll get a very wet letter.
Dont write with a prune.
Words will come out wrinkled and dopey.
Lets face it: The only fruit you could write with is a banana.
Not to be confused with a ballpoint.
Writing a letter to your son, right?
Usually, I write, Dear son, how are you?
See what a nice letter it writes?
And it comes in colors.
Look, if youve got to write with a fruit, write with a Bic Banana!
Its only 29 cents.
Your best buy in writing fruit.
A different way to write!
He was a brilliant talent at both stills and animation, includingNew Yorkercartoons.
He had an idea.
He wanted to do a takeoff on Norman McLaren, a Canadian animator and cartoonist who did avant-garde creations.
Ernie thought my interpretation of it with an English accent could be a clever idea.
The audience loved it.
It was about three and a half minutes long, and they laughed uproariously from start to finish.
And miraculously enough, it went on to win the Academy Award for Best Short Subject (Cartoon).
Anne and I wereseeing each other every day and every night.
Not only in the style to which she was accustomed but, frankly, in any style.
And then in 1964 a stroke of luck!
I was called by one of the partners of a successful showbiz company called Talent Associates.
His name was Danny Melnick.
They said, We need a show, and we want you to write it.
Inspector Clouseau and James Bond are the biggest things in the world now.
They then asked if I would like to write it with anybody.
They suggested a list of names.
One of the names on the list was Buck Henry.
I liked Buck Henry a lot and admired his talent.
What a perfect partner.
This was the year of the secret agent, both in film and television.
No one had ever done a show about a CIA agent who was also an imbecile.
I decided to be the first.
I called itGet Smart,based on the leading characters name, Maxwell Smart.
Buck was very intelligent and extremely witty.
The more we worked on the pilot, the funnier and more insightful we got.
It took us about three and a half months to write the pilot script.
We could have done it in a couple of weeks, but we loved playing pool.
We would also play against the various guests who would visit the offices.
Every once in a while, Peter Falk would stop by.
He was a pool shark.
He would always beat us and take our money.
That turned out to be lucky for us because we had some really good friends at NBC.
Were always looking for new funny shows.
He said, Great!
Id love to see it!
Without wasting a moment, we sent the pilot over to Grant Tinkers team.
They loved what we had done and bought the show immediately.
After the first season, NBC sadly informed us the ratings didnt warrant its being picked up for another.
The powers that were at NBC decided to giveGet Smartanother shot.
From there on, it took off.
WhatGet Smartssuccess meant for me personally was that at last I was getting a steady paycheck.
So on August 5, 1964, I was able to marry Anne and pay the bills.
We went down to City Hall in lower Manhattan to get married by a justice of the peace.
But a witness, where would I get a witness?
They called over this kid named Samuel Boone.
And I walked up to him and said, Sam, we dont have a best man or anything.
Could you stand up for us?
He said, Yeah.
Then he said, But I want to warn you.
Let me tell you about the clerk who is gonna marry you.
He just married my friends, and he has a really crazy voice.
We had a tough time not breaking up when we heard that loopy voice.
I said, Well, were in show business.
We can deal with that, whatever it is.
So we get in front of this clerk, and the kid was right.
The clerk had the wackiest voice I had ever heard.
He started with, Dooo youuuu, Anna Marie Louise Italianoooo …
And already we were in big trouble.
Somehow, we got through the ceremony.
Alls well that ends well.
- Adapted with permission fromALL ABOUT ME!
My Remarkable Life in Show Business, by Mel Brooks.To be published by Ballantine Books November 30.
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