Holey Moley’s Surrealist Mini-Golf Is the Only Sport We Have Left

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That sport exists, and its calledHoley Moley.

And its returning for a second season, calledHoley Moley II: The Sequel,on May 21.

Here is your first look at the newest holes, because this is what sports is now.

Double Dutch Courage

Like last years Dutch Courage, doubled.

Now, there are drawbridges, moats, and the very real possibility of getting knocked into a pond.

Don Quixote was right to want to fight these assholes.

Putters have to duck the giant swinging ducks or end up in the sudsy tub.

The hole is on a big bar of soap.

Weeeeee!

This slippery icy mountain level is actually a holdover fromHoley Moleyseason one.

So when a golf tournament is called a Classic, this is what I envision.

Moats and inflatables are one thing, but why do shows do this?

Its never fun to watch!

I get no joy from seeing people undergoactualpain, just goofy slapstick pain.

More and more, this show seems like an idea that Todd would come up with onBoJack Horseman.

Get it?

(By that standard, half of these levels are speculative fiction, too.)

If all sports had a zip line element, Id watch a lot more sports.

I wouldnt be surprised if there was an obscure shark clause in the official MLB rulebook.

In which golfers ride atop a mechanical gopher named Sir Goph.

Thats some dam fine putting.