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Your fave could never, as the kids say.
Theres a reason we dont praise Parton for her range.
Shes a character actor the way Joe Pesci and Arnold Schwarzenegger are character actors.
In life and on film, she radiatesbon motsand no-bullshit charm.
With Dolly starring in Netflixs latest Christmas confection, were taking the opportunity to rank Partons film roles.
The appeal of Parton on film comes down to one simple question: Who else but Dolly?
10.Frank McClusky, C.I.
Parton and McDowalls banter is cute, but otherwise its a sentimental snoozer.
But the most disappointing part ofChristmas on the Squareis how little it gives Parton to do.
Flitting in and out on a floating cloud, Partons sparkling presence still commands attention.
But as a one-note character in a one-layer plot, theres not much even Dolly can do with it.
Its second sin is immediately killing him off.
Parton manages to make it to the end credits as G.G.
Sparrow, Kristoffersons widow and tough talkin grandma to a bad boy on a redemption arc.
Opposing her is Vi Rose Hill (Queen Latifah), newly minted choir director and overworked single mother.
With the movies tragedies foisted onto Vi Rose, Parton as perky G.G.
is responsible for most ofJoyful Noisesactual joy.
(Up in the church with my homies, trying to get a little praise on).
Theres more where that came from, but well spare the non-believers the rest.
(The words Ravioli!
come out of his mouthin that orderin his first scene.)
Parts ofRhinestoneare genuinely painful to watch as Stallone chews the scenery with a practically unhinged jaw.
But Parton joins in on the hammy fun with one of her most reactive performances to date.
She manages to play scene partner to Stallone without ever indicating that hes being anything besides normal.
Together they make a baffling couple, but their rollicking duets are the single best thing about the movie.
If Hollywood is looking for a left-field choice for a gritty modern remake, here it is.
Parton elevates the boilerplate script where she can.
You dont have to show me but once.
They say Im a quick study, she tells bandmate Bobby when he gives her some lyrics hes written.
Theres a split-second pause as a conspiratorial grin flashes across her face.
Partons nuanced, generous performance deserves a more nuanced, generous movie.
Her gorgeous solo performance of Wildflowers on autoharp doesnt hurt either.
Melodramatic as the dialogue gets, Parton nails some of the scripts finest one-liners.
But hasnt Dolly always been ahead of her time?
Name a more iconic duo, Ill wait.
By the time she gets in the radio booth, writer Craig Bolotin lets Dolly rip.
Having an affair is like playing pool on two tables, she advises one caller.
You may have the balls, Bud, but youre going to wear out your stick.
Its also the correct one.
Like Monroe, Parton leaps off the screen thanks to a combination of emotional engagement and magnetic presence.
But those moments are window dressing at best, and a misunderstanding of the Dolly effect at worst.
In other words, it was never the guitar.
Its the presence, stupid.
