Emily In Paris
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Couldve involved anything, like maybe blunt head trauma!
Yet again, she knocks on Gabriels door.
Emily suddenly has 1,435 followers.
Given what weve seen of her content, that seems … suspect.
She is trying to explain her ethos to theUber-boss, Sylvie, and theUber-boss is not about it.
Weve got ourselves a classic divide here between luxury-exclusivity-mystery and accessibility-inclusivity-transparency.
But, unlike Emily, I am not in Paris, so I am not the expert here.
She is not into fashion but somehow has on hand a sort of Audrey-cosplay black taffeta strapless dress.
French people dont eat, and American people are disgusting, never forget it!
Like, come ON, thats not even a French expression!
This is what I was saying before re: blunt head trauma.
Emily blabs about statistics and horrifies everyone with her insistence on discussing work at a party.
Has Emily ever been to a party?
He tells Emily she needs to find a nice French boyfriend.
Thats the best way to learn the language, he says.
Better than sex you dont have to pay for?
Emily cannot handle this intel alone, so she texts Mindy for a dinner date.
Mindy explains, You never flirt with another woman in front of your mistress.
Its worse than flirting with another woman in front of your wife.
Everyone has lovers, because its FRANCE, baby!!!
Emily, trapped in the cult of monogamy to which all Chicagoans are apparently devoted, does NOT understand.
This entire conversation just makes me think of/yearn forthis perfect John EarlyKate Berlant video.
Yes, shes a nanny, but she has her freedom, which is what matters the most.
Good on you, Mindy!
We are at the cafe near Emilys apartment, where Emily of COURSE wants her steak done more.
Thats not American; its just tasteless, Emily!
In big letters, the screen informs us BOYFRIEND ARRIVES IN PARIS TOMORROW.
Emily has earned 2,029 followers for dopey selfies captioned, Paris is for cheese lovers.
Human Plot rig: The Chicago Boyfriend doesnt even get on a plane to dispatch his plot-spinning duties.
Oh my God, buddy.
He wants her to come home!?
Emily wakes the next morning to a downpour.
She has 5,700 followers for a picture of the rain captioned, Paris is weeping.
She STORMS into Sylvies office to, one assumes, file a complaint about this obscene slight.
Ill never learn the language or understand anything here, Emily says, after trying for … 15 minutes?
I feel like shes been here two weeks.
Sacre bleu!
Its full of PASSION and ROMANCE and SEX.
Everyone is serious about dinner.
The French are romantics, but theyre also realists.
Thank you, Mindy.
Emily only wants a well-done steak.
Girl, youre not in Trump country anymore.
And even in America we drag him for that, and rightly so!
Paris is the most exciting city in the world.
Okay, okay, we get it, you like Paris.
Cliche rating:Skipping the rare steak to smoke two cigarettes for lunch with your mistress.
