24 comedians give advice to their pre-pandemic selves.
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When we originally hunted for venues to host the show, everyone turned us away.
I still cant believe they agreed.
Over ten years, this has amassed to something of an archive of independent L.A. stand-up during the 2010s.
The book is an accidental time-capsule yearbook, documenting independent comedy before the after times were currently living.
In addition to the portraits, the book includes insights from the many comedians who performed on our stage.
Heres what they had to say.
The deadlines will hold.
Trust me youll have plenty of time for work.
Spend the time you have now making memories with those you love.)
Maria Bamford:ENJOY every second of being onstage.
Snort in the scent of a well-used microphone.
Kate Berlant:Dont cancel any shows.
Talk to everyone you are about to essentially lose your personality.
You will even miss people you have no chemistry with.
Stay out very, very late.
Ahmed Bharoocha:Soak it all in.
Youre going to miss every part of stand-up.
Youll miss thinking about your show during the day.
Picking out an outfit.
Driving to the venue.
Hanging in the greenroom.
Sitting in the back listening to the other comics.
Hearing a roomful of people laugh together.
And, yes, youll even miss bombing in front of real people.
And of course hanging out after the show.
Now I feel behind.
Byron Bowers:This isyourcomedy boom, like the one you read about in the 80s.
Take some time to enjoy it and make memories.
Those are the people youre really gonna miss.
Id gently explain to myself that cities are dead.
They had a great run, but now theyre over.
Wed have a funeral for cities, bury them, and move on.
But far enough away from other human beings that they never need to close their playgrounds.
Go sit in a bar.
Just spend so much time there.
Bars are over now.
In fact, go get on a crowded elevator.
Go to a tickle party.
Go to an old-timey stock market and just press up against a bunch of strangers sweaty, yelling bodies.
Old-timey stock markets are over now, too.
and write two movies.
Then wed move to Vancouver.
Vancouver is the new Hollywood.
Eventually move back to L.A. after Sydney and Vancouver are decimated by the entertainment industry.
Its really not bad.
Youre going to realize the importance of not putting all your eggs in one basket.
Soon you wont be able to fit into your Old Navy jeans, and THATS OKAY!
Ron Funches:Hi, pre-pandemic Ron.
Spend that money on toilet paper, weed, and Nintendo Switches, and you will thank me later.
The next year will be rough.
Remember you have actually been through worse, which is both inspiring and depressing.
Love you so much.
The restaurant I was eating at has really good ribs, and I wish Id ordered a full slab.
Youve released four hours of comedy in the past ten years.
That is a lifetime of work for most comedians.
Maybe the pandemic means stand-up will never come back the same way it was before.
Just keep writing and take care of the new puppy you adopted three months ago.
And then, of course, I would ignore that advice.
As I ignore all advice.
Plus, nobody wants to fight the militias in something restrictive.
As far as comedy, I dont know.
Its okay to step back from it and let the engine cool off for a while.
My joke notes were starting to read like a prisoners diary.
Im not in the friendship business.
Career-wise I should have retired before the pandemic and moved to a Gilligans-style island.
Who am I kidding?
Not enough people Ive been told.
What am I sticking around for?
A comeback in my 70s.
I started in the 70s so that would be appropriate.
Put on your coat becauseJamies Gotta Go.
Its a blessing to see your fellow comedy friends and connect with a live audience.
I would also work harder to appreciate the travel aspect of my job.
Its exciting to go to different cities, not inconvenient.
But keep in mind, your sleep will still suck.
Watch less news and stay off Twitter as much as possible, and maybe thatll help.
Career-wise, finish those scripts.
Do it before the baby comes, like.
As far as stand-up, heres that break youve been talking about for a year and a half.
Come back with a stronger point of view and work on those act-outs.
Utilize that non-weed stuff in your drafts.
A lot of great stand-ups take breaks.
Chris Rock took a break and came back withBring the Pain.
it’s possible for you to take a break and at least come back and bring the slight annoyance.
Also, start therapy.
Hasan Minhaj:Listen, I know you dont like doing late spots, but do late spots.
Youre going to miss doing stand-up.
Also, its totally cool to not see the kids for a while.
Youll thank me later.
Everything you have learned and perfected as an introvert will finally be a moral imperative.
- yo start crafting an answer to the question, But are women pandemic funny?
Yes, a fart noise is acceptable.
Buy one cat toy for your cat and one for yourself.
No masks required for nipples oh, wait …
Masks are almost consistently required for nipples on the internet, even pre-COVID.
So, I wont be able to make out with anyone or get my tits out …
I guess I better get better at comedy!
Or maybe shift to ass stuff?
Ass is always allowed.
Why is ass more socially acceptable than the female nipple?
Anyway, good luck doing interactive naked physical comedy in 2020, Nat!
Gonna love watching you squirm!
Trust me on this … Start a podcast.
Spot it without needing horrific circumstances to wake you up to what feels good in life.
One that you’re free to afford to pay the bills on and buy groceries on.
I already loved getting onstage, but I took it for granted.
I took for granted that one day it might not be available.
I see now who I want to be as a person simply because of gratitude.
I was supposed to tape my first one-hour comedy special with HBO on May 9.
No shade to anyone who does.
And who really cares what I do.
And I plan to have my special playing in a loop in my fire mansion.
Weird Al Yankovic:Stock up on toilet paper and Clorox wipes.
No time to explain, just trust me!
Sasheer Zamata:Hey there, pre-quarantine Sasheer.
Look at us, so hopeful, always on the go, go, GO!
Well, guess what, youre gonna get a break soon.
Will it be by choice?
Sure, you were going to film another stand-up special, but it can wait!
The next few months will give you time to really refine your material.
Will you be able to do that?
Youre gonna get into new activities (rollerskating!
