Cobra Kai
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This episode had everything, as he would say.
The most disturbing story features the second generation of karate warriors.
The episode starts with Kreese in juvie to talk to Robbie.
What exactly is the purpose of this conversation?
Is he trying to recruit him to Cobra Kai?
Um, did Kreese not notice hes in teenage-after-school-special jail right now?
(Seriously, dude, can this election happen already so I stop getting harassed?)
He jump-kicks Juvie Bully in the face and then throws the other two against the table.
Jackie Chan would be so proud, if he didnt think this kid was ripping off his moves.
Hawk and the other Cobra Kais are squarely on the other side of that divide.
They go to the Chuck E. Cheese ripoff place where Chris works.
(Apparently the tall, chubby Miyagi-Do students name is Chris.
I did not know.)
They steal a bunch of prizes and make his life hell.
I have so many questions about this.
Also, can we get these kids to fight in an abandoned roller rink next?
I would really enjoy that.
The Miyagi clan is doing a good job holding their own, until Tory shows up with reinforcements.
Seeing Tory, who gave her a gnarly scar on her arm, reignites Sams PTSD.
Sam is so paralyzed that when Hawk is threatening to break Dimitris arm she cant do anything.
I think they would be like, Oh, shit.
That is too far.
Lets get the fuck out of here before the cops show up.
He really does care about other living things.
Chief scold Amanda tells Kreese hes a sociopath, and then slaps him unprovoked for no good reason.
I mean, shes always telling everyone how disappointed she is, but physical violence seems like a stretch.
Is this the first non-Cialis boner hes gotten since the Obama presidency?
Turns out hes still around but he is like a totally different person.
Did they recast Daniels son (haha, Daniel-son, get it?)
Was no one on the show going to mention this?
Daniel might not have noticed because hes still in Japan.
The first movie we got the crane kick, this time he just… bludgeoned someone with his arms?
Like Little Debbies Oatmeal Creme Pies, not as good as you remembered.
What else does she have to do?
Hes all like, Holy shit, my arm is numb.
Why didnt Mr. Miyagi teach me that?
Can you teach me that?
I seriously want to paralyze some M-er F-ers.
And Chozen is like, No biggie, dude.
Just read these scrolls and youll be all set.
Also sorry about wanting to kill you and stuff back in 1986.
And Daniel is like, Naw, its cool man.
I forgot about it like parachute pants.
See, rivalries can be squashed.
And Daniel is like, Probably.
Oh, I have to go meet the deus ex machina that is going to save my company now.
There was a typhoon and he saved a child?
Turns out she is now the head of sales at Doyona and shes totally going to save Daniels dealership.
And just like that, it all gets tied up in a neat little bow.
Back in the Valley, Johnny is trying to get Miguel to walk by any means possible.
No one change, ever.
This obviously doesnt work.
Johnny has already permanently warped this kids thinking.
c’mon, as if the first thing hed search wouldnt be Tawny Kitaen White Snake Video.
For the record, Verbo will not be recognized.
It is not canon.
Dee even tells all the ladies in the audience to double-check the kid gets everything he wants.
Sorry, but last I checked, Dee Snyder did not sing Sexual Healing.
However, this plan kind of works and Miguel starts tapping his foot to the music.
Things are about to get even crazier.
Someone tell Stefan to add former pinup girl Elisabeth Shue to this hot new nightclub lineup.
