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Nolan, aLeo who identifies as five-foot-11 and 14inches tall, simply loves (dead, fictional) women.

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And if he had gotten his way which he might have, if it werent for usmeddling kids!

Would I strap on a face shield and head into a theater forInception?

Could the mystical promise ofThe Prestigeseduce me into sitting down in a crowded room with zero windows?

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11.Dunkirk

9.The Prestige

The greatest mistake Christopher Nolan ever made was playingThe Prestigetotally straight-faced.

Would I theoretically die forMemento?

violent murder of a young woman.

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I am intrigued byTenetand very possibly willing to die for it for several reasons.

(2) It stars Elizabeth Debicki, my favoritewandering goddess.

Debickis character has been described as an estranged wife, which could theoretically mean dead.

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You know, Im going to go ahead and assume shes dead.

As you will shortly discover, I am fixated on Alfred to perhaps an unhealthy degree.

Does Alfred have health insurance?

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Does he get any time off?

Has Alfred ever had the chance to fall in love?

Why does he only have one outfit, and who washes it?

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Who takes care of Alfred when hes sick?

Does anyone ever ask Alfred what his dreams are?

Who cooks for him?

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In other words, we were all incepted byInceptionto talk about being incepted by things.

Did Christopher Nolan replace her because she was playing Rachel Dawes with a Joey Potter vibe?

Anyway, back to Alfred.

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Sure, he inherited the estate from Batman, but what about when Batman, uh, returned?

Does Alfred ever get to retire?

Is he meant to die standing ramrod straight, holding a little tray of sandwiches?

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I cant die for this movie because then I will not know whether Alfred has found peace.

This crushes me every time.

This man devoted his entire life to you!

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Give him a hug!

1.Interstellar

People love toclown onInterstellar, but there will be no clowning here.

This is a movie from a man who might also cry because of Alfreds emotionally complicated vacation.

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