Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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Were in the alternate cosmos, similar to but not exactly like the one in which the Spellmans reside.
Its not exactly a reality show; its more like the show is their whole reality.
All the worlds a soundstage.
No one is allowed to leave.
Dont change your lines.
All the books are blank.
Who do you know who might thrive on such a diet?
If you guessed Salem the cat early on, point you!
(It took me a minute, I am not too proud to admit.)
Morningstar also realizes that shes trapped in a time loop.
Its the same October day each morning.
He says hell work on the former but no dice on the latter.
(THERE WERE ONLY EIGHT.
There are only two left, and one is the Void!
Honestly, how hard is it to remember them?
Didnt anybody write this stuff down?)
Salem is a talking puppet and the star of the show.
Lillith, or Wardwell, whoever she is here, is assisting Blackwood, the director.
For todays shoot, Morningstar is dressed as a cockroach.
(For your motivation, Blackwood tells her … tellingly (sorry!
), think Kafka.)
Later she goes to the Baxter High set, where alternative-reality versions of her friends await her.
Morningstar is all, arent you dating Roz?
Rozs perfect reply: I wish!
The writers would dream of giving ME a boyfriend.
(Nick, lurking in the background, is Harveys stand-in.)
Since in this world theyre dating for real, Harvey invites Morningstar to hang out later.
This Harvey thinks theyre just a harmless gift from the art department.
Oh, Harvey, an innocent dope in all dimensions.
As they read Morningstar realizes: This sceneactually happened.Its what Harvey said to Sabrina back on her 16th birthday?
are, inthiscosmos, the show theyre all making.
I love Harveys oblivious response to her freakout.
I get it, I dont like watching myself either.
Morningstar bolts and opens a door that she is NOT supposed to open.
Behind it is the green room.
Theres blood everywhere and it looks like an eerie, almost-underwater version of the mortuary basement.
Judging by your headband, you must be the new Sabrina.
Thank HECATE this guy is here!
Ambrose reports that he is making cat food for the Eldritch Terror to consume.
What terror is it?
The Endless … is SALEM.
Well, its the realm and also Salem.
Its complicated but just go with it.
Ambrose is defeated he says theres nothing they can do because they are alsoonewith the Endless.
Its all very yikes.
Somehow Prudence and Agatha are also here.
Silver lining: At least being blind gives me an arc!
(Under Sabrinas bed: Elspeth, wearing a platinum wig.)
That night, Morningstar discovers Caliban among the crew and flings herself into his arms.
See, in the cast, he was endlessly taking off my shirt and being objectified.
I know, right?
Never change, Caliban!
Oh also he is building a vacuum, which is the Void.
Morningstar wakes up Harvey, who helps her sneak into Wardwells to get tomorrows pages early.
Morningstar calls together the whole cast to explain whats what.
They need to find her magic mirror; they need to escape before its too late.
The 90s aunties insist theres nothing to worry about.
The writers throw a big thing into the show every year!
How do they know any of this?
The 90s aunties refuse to say.
The next morning, Morningstars calendar shows that every day after this one is just … gone.
When she gets to set, her boyfriend has been replaced: Nick is Harvey now.
Rumor has it Harvey got sent to the green room.
Nick, very Method, does NOT like not being called Harvey.
No one knows or is willing to say.
But Morningstar quickly discovers that the head writer is, of course, Salem the stuffed animatronic cat.
Why are you telling me this?
She says shes going to the store to buy some candles and basically, all hell breaks loose.
Turns out the 90s aunties are servants of the Void.
As Morningstar and Salem run away, those aunties start to look like the terrifying monsters they actually are.
as they bolt for freedom.
Morningstar wants to save the others but its too late: Caliban is dead.
Salem gets him to slip on a banana peel.
Hey, why mess with a classic?
Ongoing mysteries:I mean … literally everything?
!
