Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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I will say this forCAOS: It is always really trying to do the MOST.
Its not just me, right?
This is pretty major, and we see exactly none of it.
Also why does this 16-year-old need to be married?
Isnt she the same Sabrina as before, just cloned?
IS THIS SHOW SET IN THE PRESENT DAY OR WHAT.
Speaking of hearts: Sabrinas back-to-back dates dont really go as she hoped.
What happened to those twins?
Im going to level with you: I dont remember and Im not going to find out.
I feel like its not that important … hopefully I am right about this!
Morningstar tells Spellman that she and Caliban are getting hitched.
How does her dad feel about this?
Like its a strategic match that would provide some healthy competition for a child hell have with Lillith.
Meanwhile, Roz and Harveys romantic life is going along swimmingly.
Hilda asks Sabrina to be the flower girl and give a toast.
Isnt Sabrina a little old to be a flower girl?
Wouldnt she be the witch of honor or something to that effect?
Hilda also asks if Harveys band would like to play at the reception.
Oh and one last thing: Can Nick and Melvin just exorcise Dr. Cs sex demon before the wedding?
To me, what matters most about this scene is that Lillith looks fabulous.
She reminds Sabrina that shes risking a temporal paradox, which is information Sabrina does not appear to absorb.
They bond over their shared dislike of the whole Caliban marriage situation.
Its all veryCSI: EW.
Ambrose says its time to CANCEL the wedding.
I do find the accidental COVID parallels very intriguing here!
to get to keep your guests safe, everybody just stay home … extremely 2020.
Elsewhere, Blackwoods tent church has moved into a building.
Uh … Im your priest, you have to talk to me!
Its Wardwell who realizes the obvious: The terror has no tongue.
Agatha fetches one from a congregant she finds annoying (resourceful!)
and soon hes just chatting away.
Using some magic (hygiene), they make the void-vagrant look like a regular person.
Shes not even mad, just full of pity for her pathetic single other-self.
In exchange for this kindness, Spellman gives Morningstar the dollhouse.
Morningstar has no good explanation for why she needs to be married at 16.
These scenes between Sabrinas are extremely stilted and awkward.
Its the big day!
Hilda finds Sabrina crying over her loneliness and wisely assures her that her time will come, be patient.
Sabrina is not really soothed.
Its all quite painful and takes forever.
Then for some reason we watch Harveys band cover Radio Ga Ga almost in its entirety.
Then it goes into the Eldritch Terror which just … swallows it?
The vagrant responds to being outed by tearing out Dorians heart.
Again: Does EVERYONE in hell know there are two Sabrinas?
How would it not be conspicuous and very problematic for her to attend this event??
Does anything in this show have stakes or consequences???
Morningstars wedding dress is this very dramatic see-through, red-mesh situation.
With the vagrant safely stashed in the dollhouse, Lucifer forbids the Sabrinas from ever seeing each other again.
He also bans Sabrina Spellman from hell, plus she has to take the dollhouse with her.
Cant imagine how that could backfire!
Back at home, Hilda gets her dream scary-movie-theme wedding.
Thank you for acknowledging that we have no sense of time here in Greendale!
Ongoing mysteries:So will there ever be any consequences for the fact that there are two Sabrinas?
That cant be the last we actually see of Ms. Morningstar, right?
Is Dorian going to come back to life or is he really dead?
