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Late Tuesday night, the world got its first piece of good news in a long time.
The inciting incident, as with so much else in recent history, was Tom HoopersCats.
In response, writer Jack Waz stepped in with a report of a disturbingly plausible alternate reality.
It was a version of the film where all the cats had realistic CGI buttholes.
His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before.
Its understandable: The lack of realistic buttholes inCatswas the movies rare act of restraint.
like God, make it be true!
By the morning of March 18, with the assistance of directorRian Johnson,#ReleaseTheButtholeCutbegan trending.
But … could the Butthole Cut actually exist?
An attempt to clarify the situation by contacting Universal raised more questions than it answered.
When asked to confirm or deny the report, the studio simply issued a no comment.
Things might have stayed there, with the butthole cut remaining a tantalizing urban legend.
Or at least by design.
None that I saw anyway.
And then after all that,they got made fun of at the Oscars, too.
God, those people deserve hazard pay.
