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Welcome to the Real Housewives Institute Bulletin.
Hot enough out there for you?
We all know that its hotter out there than the Grindr Photos folder on Andy Cohens iPhone.
Know who hasnt gotten any smaller?
The Real Housewives of theHeat Dome.
What are you waiting for?
(Pile of Flesh-Colored Goo is also the pet name PKs mom gave him.)
Hurry up and get reading.
The first person to make it to the end wins an all-expenses-paid luxury-yacht vacation like theyre onBelow Deck.
This is modern media.
We dont have the budget for that.
But we can probably swing Malia on a paddleboat delivering you a four-pack of Loverboy.
Id love for everybody to pray for Gregg, that would be beautiful.
Pray for his strength.
And pray for me too, she told the Instagram audience.
On theJune 24 episode of her show, Wendy asked Cynthia who should be fired fromRHOA.
I think it should be you, Wendy said.
This comes amid rumors that Cynthia is already on the way out after 11 seasons on the show.
Fans definitely noticed when she removed that shes on the cast fromher Instagram bio.
TIKI TORCHES:TheSunsaysthatTraci Lynn Johnsonis joining the cast ofRHONJnext season, most likely as a friend of.
DidRosie Pierriat least get a courtesy invite?)
ORANGE YOU GLAD WERE FRIENDS: TheSunis all up in the casting news this week.
Italso reportsthatNoella Bergenerwill be joining the freshly pruned cast ofRHOC, now with100 percent moreHeather Dubrow.
Yeah, B just got her orange squeezed and now her bestie is going to be on the show.
I was a little bit heartbroken, to say the least, she told the program.
And then I said, Is my girlfriend whos been auditioning, is she on?
He said, Yes.
And so it was like a double hit.
I was really looking forward to filming with her.
Ive never done the show with a friend.
Ive never really done the show with anyone that even liked me a little bit.
I have heard of this happening before.
And when I recently recordedDana Wilkeys podcast(What?
Like I could say no to Dana/Pam?
Guess thats a very real fear!
Yes, that is the same race that also features reality star and Get off my lawn!
California is completely broken, it is unrecognizable, Lodge said in astatement.
Together let us get government out of our lives, off our backs, and out of our wallets.
That last sentence could be hisHousewivestagline.
Yeah, its that bad.
ERIKA UPDATES: As you would expect, there is a lot going on withErika Jayneand her legal troubles.
Well, two days later,they rescinded those papersand decided to stay on as her legal team.
That was quite an about-face.
There is one lawyer who is still very unhappy with Mx.
Moreover, the Trustee has received zero cooperation from Erika which is constant with someone hiding assets.
Things got so crazy he even skipped the recent reunion special.
(Theres a more thorough breakdownhere.)
All the fans assumed that meant she was getting it on with petit CanadianCaptain Glenn.
Hetook to Instagramto let us know that the pair are just friends.
God, what sort of love potion were they putting in the drinking water on that boat?
Im not going to believe this until we have aBotchedinvestigation.
She says a set accident broke her nose and she had to have it repaired.
She claims she was parked.
I mean, how else is she taking pictures of the baby in the car?
Wait, dont answer that.
I dont want to know.
Come on, Brandi.
Is Lisa Vanderpump in Her Flop Era?
This year, Lisa Vanderpump has launched not one, not two, but three (3) shows.
Thats as many as it takes licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Is Lisa, one of the breakout stars of theReal Housewives… nothing without theReal Housewives?
The first show wasOverserved With Lisa Vanderpump, an E!
talk show that was filmed during COVID, and you might tell.
The first episode shows her taking her miniature ponies, Diamonds and Rose, to greet Vivica A.
Fox, Lance Bass, and his husband Michael Turchin at her front gate.
Her husband, Ken Todd, haunts the proceedings like the ghost of Rod Stewart.
Like the U.K. original, the ABC show was produced by Rebel Wilson, who served as host.
Lisa was one of three judges on the panel.
Its really a shame, because both formats really played to Lisas strengths.
You might say it was a little bit charming, even.
(And some viewers feeling like the showwas abusing the animalsprobably didnt help.)
However, LVP is always at her best and most lovable when shes around her furry friends.
You know, she loves dogs, shes just not crazy about bitches.
Luckily, in the episodes I sampled, the upchuck-inducing phrase fur baby is only used once.
While we see the staff go about their roles, there is no drama between them.
Hearteningly, they all seem there to just do their jobs, not for the reality-TV fame.
Instead, Lisa lets the little furballs steal the spotlight.
But, once again, this doesnt seem to be the star vehicle that Lisa needs at the moment.
TheRHOBHseason-11 trailer, for comparisons sake, has 523,000.
All of these shows come at an inflection point for both Lisa and Bravo/the Housewives in general.
Once she Good-bye, Kyle-ed out ofRHOBH, at least she still hadVanderpump Rulesto keep her on Bravo.
But then COVID closed all of her restaurants, where the show is filmed.
2020 really hit Lisa likea Ferrari driving through the front of PUMP.
The answer seems to be, uh, maybe not.
Lisa isnt the only one facing this conundrum.
Ironically, this is also a problem for Bravo.
But we also want her to be a Housewife.
That doesnt mean fighting and drama and yelling, but it means opening up about her life.
When we care about her, we will care more about the offensive things that happen to her.
I think you are a great addition to the show.
She has less change than a credit-only restaurant.
Oh, Kathy, we know.
And we love you for this.
Kathy continues to be this seasons MVP.
Yes, shes from Connecticut, but where is that accent from?
(And, yes, in England they do sell English muffins, but theyre just called muffins.)
Erika Jayne
