Below Deck
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Reader, I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard at aBelow Deckepisode.
Regardless of what Heather thinks of that dinner, I saythisis five-star service.
So like Jake and Fraser, lets waste no time diving in (underwear optional).
Im sick of it all, he declares, and he means it.
Oh, and the trampoline, which Alexander cant wait to jump on.
Call it a Chekhovs trampoline.
at once, and we know whats happened.
And that trampoline FLIES!
Captain Lee says he hasnt seen wind this bad in 35 years of yachting.
Its Mother Nature giving your ass a wake-up call, he declares.
Yes to climate change!
Fraser, in a confessional, says Jake is just so effortlessly chic.
I should not need to tell you to put a pin in this!
And once again, it kills me!
And, to be clear, the guests could not care less, because theyre just enjoying their steak!
Serve it with a fork if you have to!
Eddie in particular commits to his workout-coach-meets-wrestler character, which I love for him.
And the guests, predictably, love the carrot cake!
Im ready to declare this night a rousing success, and the guests are ready for bed.
The morning goes off without a hitch as well, from breakfast to the docking.
Ronnie, meanwhile, declares this the best three days of food I think weve all ever had.
And if you dont believe him?
Well, its hard to deny the $25,000 tip once again handcuffed to Alexanders wrist.
Thats right,twenty-five!
Rachel and Heather make it rain.
So lets catch up on the complaints about Jess this episode.
This is still all too much talk about Jess, and not enough things are happening about Jess.
(It looks like thatsfinallyset to change next episode when Heather cleverly!
puts Jess on service, but Im getting ahead of myself.)
If there were ever a night the crew deserved to celebrate, itd be tonight.
Jake is especially looking to celebrate by getting handsy with a now-bare-chested Fraser at the bar.
In a confessional, Fraser admits the obvious, that he has a little crush on Jake.
He is a full-blown man whore, but that doesnt affect me, he adds.
Hes straight and Im gay.
And thus, Sean Cody Presents: Fraser & Jake begins.
Come here; I want to see what it looks like, at least!
The poor bartender, meanwhile, does not.
Jake indeed gets into the water, with Fraser too, whos (unfortunately?
Can I say that?)
still in his undies.
Jakes nudity does not keep them from being all over each other in the water.
The van ride back isthatfateful ride, which weve also seen teased to death ahead of this episode.
I aint bisexual, Jake clarifies afterward.
Im straight; Im just sexually comfortable.
and the crew trying to figure out where the smell of burnt hair was coming from.
Its the next morning, though, thats the cherry on top of this five-star episode.
After saving the trampoline, Wes feels like David Hasselhoff inBaywatch, or maybe the Rock.
A skinnier version of the Rock: the Pebble.
And a fucking shit flew out, it flew through the air.
Yeah, it fucking flew, just wentpew!
Im not seeing anybody tonight; itll be okay.
During their dinner out, the whole crew abandons Wes and Jess for some alone time at one point.
Will there be more overtures to recap next episode?
