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So how does a newcomer to the event choose a country to support?

But virtually every entry since then has been a different flavor of perfection.
An example: Pirates of the Sea.
In 2010, singer Aisha delivered What For?
one of the most poorly translated musical numbers of all time.
Enjoy another lyric excerpt:
What for do people live until they die?
What for are we living?
What for are we crying?
What for are we dying?
Only Mr. God knows why
What for are we dreaming?
What for are we loosing?
But wait, what if Im interested in inspirational rap-rock featuring the first stage dive in Eurovision history?
Of course, that was Latvia in 2013 (Here We Go, by PeR).
Okay, but what about questionably dreadlocked individuals who sing about baking?
Latvia 2014 (Cake to Bake by Aarzemnieki).
Now, there have been a few objectively fantastic acts from Latvia.
(Savadogo also wrote Im Like a Wolf, the second-place song in Lithuanias Eurovision 2017 contest.)
Make her the new Dr. Luke so we can finally be rid of him!